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Ashamed

Tuesday, February 26, 2019

In the summer of 2016 I weighed 113; I dieted and exercised for months to get there. I promised myself I would never again get above 120 without making an immediate correction to my eating habits. I promised myself I would weigh-in every morning and control my weight and my health. I promised myself I would maintain my weight and would eat in a healthy manner and continue to exercise regularly. Well, I am very ashamed to admit that I didn't keep my promises. Yesterday I had a doctor's appointment to discuss the results of my blood work and my cholesterol level is 300; below 200 is ideal and over 240 is high. So my level is through the roof. My doc wanted to put me on cholesterol lowering meds, but I said I wanted to bring it down through diet and exercise. He gave me 3 months to make a significant difference. This morning I stepped on the scale (for the first time in months) and was horrified to see 141.2 pounds. I don't know why I was surprised. None of my clothes fit. Every morning dressing for work it is like stuffing a sausage in casing. Of course, I wear sweat pants on the weekends! I am not only angry with myself, but very ashamed. I debated long and hard about admitting this to the Spark Community, and decided coming clean was a good step to take. So I have made a new pledge to myself to eat in a healthy way to bring down my cholesterol. I have purchased 2 books on the subject to both learn and motivate myself. I have 14 weeks (next doctor appt is the first week of Jun) to drop weight, get more fit through weight training and aerobic exercise, and bring that cholesterol number down. My plan is to primarily eat fruit, vegetables, brown rice, quinoa, oats, legumes, flax & chia seed, limited fish, and limited nuts. My plan is to incorporate running into my twice daily dog walks. My plan is to work out with weights at least 3 times per week (my husband has a whole weight set-up and works out almost daily). My plan is to ride my horses on a regular basis when the weather turns nicer. My MAIN plan is to be at a point where I am happy, healthy, and NOT on cholesterol-lowering meds. Thank you all for listening and for understanding. Shame is a terrible emotion. I'll report back in June (if not before).
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • RHOOK20047
    Welcome to SparkPeople. We are all here for the same reason, no matter what our personal story is. We are here to help each other to get to that healthy point we want to be in our lives. It is not going to be easy, but it is attainable. Make small goals and they will lead to big successes. You have to make you #1 and tell yourself that you are worth it. And remember you didn't gain the weight overnight and you won't lose it overnight. It takes time, determination, motivation and support. You can get it all right here! If you don't take care of yourself you can't take care of anyone else. If I can help in anyway, feel free to reach out to me! You can do it! We are here to help! Welcome and get active on this site. emoticon
    405 days ago
  • KIRSTI2016
    I think you have a good plan! You don't need to be ashamed, you are on the right track.
    405 days ago
  • TSHAWGER
    Good luck on your weight loss journey. You cn do this. My last Dr appt my cholesterol was 256 and so my Dr suggested does of lipitor. This is first time my cholesterol was high, I blame it on keto diet.
    405 days ago
  • CATDUCK1
    You can do it!
    405 days ago
  • no profile photo SILVERNANCY
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    405 days ago
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