So, I went to Siafu this past weekend. If you don't know what Siafu is, it's one of the two women's retreats that I do NOT miss for ANY reason. This was my 4th year.
This is the FIRST year that I have gone to Siafu and have not smoked a cigarette! I haven't smoked since February 2018. I thought this would be the year God delivered me from my food addiction but He had other plans. He gave me courage and boldness this year. I told my testimony FINALLY.
If anyone's interested in watching, it's available at:
I feel like telling my testimony released me from some of the bondage of my past. I really am trying to break those soul ties. Someone actually said that to me about breaking soul ties while I was there and my sponsor has said that so I'm like hmmm ok. The whole weekend I felt like God was pushing me. Normally, I am extremely anxious in social settings. I do better at Siafu because I know a lot of people but still at times the chatter and giggling and noise sounds louder than it really is and I have to go hide out. I hardly ever introduce myself to new people but I found myself talking to two different people and feeling bold enough to actually get up in front of people and tell my story although that was preceded by a pretty severe panic attack, but I had several people pray with me prior to my testimony. There were 10 of us that told our testimonies that night (3-5 mins each). It was a powerful evening.
I started listening to this song about this is how I fight my battles and my weapons being praise and thanksgiving and then a female pastor from another church that I really like prayed over me for my mental health and used those same words (your weapons are praise and thanksgiving) and then the next day they sang that song at worship. I'm like ok God I hear you!!
I managed to get through Monday without eating frosted brownies, yesterday without cookies, and when I went in the break room today to get a cookie, because I'm overwhelmed at work at the moment, the cookies were all gone. Just more proof that God does for me what I can't do for myself. I guess in a way He is delivering me from my food addiction.
This was my project during craft time, glitter word art. On the other side there's a word (joy, praise, hope, etc.) and you're supposed to fill it in with glitter glue, but after 3 tries and getting pissed off because mine didn't look right, I decided since I'm not a color in the lines kind of person to just do my own thing. It represents my weapons, praise and thanksgiving, and all the names I have in Christ vs. the negative/hateful names I've had before. In Christ, I am wanted, sober, a survivor, never alone, sane, healing, free, a stepmom, a child, whole, loved, and a wife. I have it hanging up by my computer monitor at work for when I need to remember.
I have either Fighter Fitness or Kickboxing with my friend tonight, whatever she decides. We both got a 30 day pass to this martial arts place for $20 on Groupon so we're going to check it out tonight and kick each others butts hahahahahaha. Either one I'm going to be sore. I had Muscle Pump at the Y and then some jogging/walking in the afternoon.