The Muddy Middle
Thursday, April 25, 2019
I am calling this blog entry the muddy middle because that is where I am at today. Let me explain. You know when you start something new and you are on a mission. It is like you finally reach the point that Change is now. The excitement is there! Like a new years resolution. Every good intention to start and then days in, the mood starts changing. And the negative nancies in your head takeover and win the fight.
That was me when I joined sparkpeople, ready to lose weight, and I totally have a mission to document my food and water intake, start exercise, lose weight. All gunho!
Keeping a food and exercise journal and making it a habit is so hard.
Then comes the muddy middle...the work....the pushing through of the noise in my head that for some reason I allow to keep taking over. The part that makes me shut down. I want to know why I keep allowing that noise to win. I know I need to do this but yet I give up too quickly. It gets me questioning why bother. I need to learn to push through and not get down on myself.
I need to remember my Why...have it up in my face. Find the strength to walk away from the junk food. To realize the junk food will be there at the end if I still want it and that I just need to take a break from it. Not only that I need to push through the laziness of being a couch potato. To stop justifying excuses of why I cannot right now or maybe later moments. Why do I let those sad justifications win over when I clearly know I need to get up and move.
To learn to not beat myself up and go into major depression. When I fall just get up, shake it off, and take a step forward.
All this sounds easy enough. But it is not. Who likes the muddy middle? No one! We are human and we want instant gratification. So I just want to go to sleep only to wake up 100 lbs less. Now that would be instant gratification. Does anyone have a pair of red ruby shoes I can borrow?
I know I did not do this to myself overnight and that I have been indulging in instant gratification far too long. I somehow have to deal with the muddy middle and just not give up.
Am I alone in this feeling? Just curious. Love to know how people push through it.