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How do you deal with...

Thursday, May 16, 2019

It has been a very long time since I have blogged on this site.

First, let me start off by saying that I FINALLY graduated with my bachelor's degree in Accounting this past Saturday! A dream come true for me.

Second, and the reason for this blog, is to ask a question. How do you guys deal with a partner who is an enabler? I ask my husband to help me all the time with my food choices and portion control, and even though he says he will, he never does. His excuse is, he likes to see me happy and he knows food makes me happy. Which is all true and to be fair, I do get cranky when I'm hungry... but still... I need the stern hand of someone to tell me to stop eating that food or don't put some much on my plate. I can't do it myself, no matter how hard I try, because I have zero will power. So what do y'all do in a situation like that? How do you give yourself willpower or change your partner's thinking?

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BBLESSED32
April you cannot change anyone but you and as you said that's difficult in itself. However as noted, you can start by making small simple healthy choices like adding more veggies to your meals or using a smaller plate and as you succeed in those smaller choices, you will in turn be encouraged to stick with those and then add more and before you know it, your've changed directions and mindsets. It cannot be about anyone else except you.......... I've taken a very long time to accept that and learn it and it's helping me to be more consistent in my way.
637 days ago
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PERDONATO
My husband likes to point out all the things in the store he knows I like and shouldn't have. He came home from the store one day a while ago with a chocolate chip muffin from Dunkin Donuts. He knows I love them! I know it's easy to blame him, but I won't. My choice to eat the thing!
It is hard when you don't have anyone to help you with eating choices. You would think if they love you they should be the first one to want to help. I guess I would have to sit him down and tell him how much you need and want his help. Letting you do what you shouldn't isn't showing love. It would help if he would do it with you and not bring things into the house that you shouldn't have. Easy to say I know. Good luck!!
645 days ago
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NMUTT71
A good practice is to use a smaller plate. Instead of using the dinner plate in a dish set for your main meal use a salad plate. We tend to fill up all the empty space on a plate so a smaller plate translates into smaller portion. Eat slowly, chew well and drink water between bites. This will help your stomach signal you brain that you are full before you have had the time to eat more than needed. Another great practice is to not buy the trigger foods in the first place. Easy said then done for sure but you have to decide that you are going to love yourself and be your own cheerleader. My husband won't tell me to stop eating something either because he knows that even though I don't have the willpower to stop myself, if he tries to stop me I will likely get upset because my emotional self will think he is saying I'm not good enough for him. Self defeating but we women are a mixed bag of emotions aren't we.

You can do this April! I know you can!
654 days ago
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CD24569813
You're simply going to have to love yourself & this, in turn,
becomes your willpower. Start with adding a few extra veggies
to any meal for yourself. Think of simple things to do for you &
this will bring you joy in yourself, your spouse & food choices.

655 days ago
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ICANDOTHIS2021
I agree with MAHEDAGO. We make our own choices. I asked my husband to help me once years back to "scold" me when he thought I was eating out of line and it proved to only make it worse and I was getting frustrated with him for doing what I had asked him to do. It was finally up to me to take control and responsibility for what and how I was eating. You will do whats right. Your already back on Spark!!
I almost forgot....Congratulations on your degree!!
657 days ago

Comment edited on: 5/16/2019 6:51:32 AM
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MAHEDAGO
It's nice to have someone to blame but I have learnt that weight loss is solely my responsibility. Your husband is wise for not getting involved there. Once he sees that this lifestyle makes you happy I am sure he will be your biggest supporter...
657 days ago