Saturday looking back over the week
Saturday, May 18, 2019
This had been a long week - last Saturday through today. I fell down the steps last Saturday, and have been putting on a great show of being okay. I have finally broken down and made an appointment for Thursday - earliest date they could get me in. My God seems to be healing but my one knee is behaving differently than after previous injuries. It doesn't hurt if I don't move it at all, but the smallest movement makes me want to cry. Something as simple as sitting on the commode or getting up brings tears to my eyes. I know that my knees have been arthritic for a while and about a year ago in was told I would need knee replacements. Wherever I have done, will probably be the final straw for that. I am sucking it up and plan to continue until my appointment. We only have 10 more days of school ahead and I am doing my best to finish this year.
There have been several ups and downs this week but when I hurt, everything is harder. Yesterday by the time I got home, I would gladly have had the surgery immediately. The day was long and involved a lot of time on my feet. Started with early bus duty - days starts half an hour before normal day. I did my regular teaching and homebound teaching and then went to a retirement party for a co-worker. In an effort to save money, it was held in the high school's cafeteria and catered with snacks instead of the usual dinner. The seating was very uncomfortable and I struggled to sit and also to get back up. We were seated 10 people at each table and touching each other. I left after the retirement portion and didn't stay for the teacher or service personnel of the year. I went from there to our school's Spring Fling. The kids get so excited about this "BIG" dance - only a tiny bit less formal than the high school's prom. For most students, it is their first semi-formal dance. I like to see them and to be seen as caring about the kids - because I actually do care about them. The hour I stayed at the dance was rewarding and fun. It meant my day started early and didn't end until about ten p.m. My legs were ready to collapse by then but I was glad I did it all. Seeing the tomboys in lace and heels and the boys in three-piece suits, all wearing corsages, and being ever so nervous filled my heart with a strong reminder of why I do what I do and why I wouldn't trade my job for any other.
Today, I am paying the price for last night's fun.
This is not a post about whining, but is a post about pushing through even when life likes it on. It is about knowing that however tough things get I can persevere and do those things important to help other's lives be just a see bit better.
The retirement occasion was one I might not have normally attended, but my co-worker asked me to attend, saying that he had asked "everyone else" and they did not want to attend. What choice did I have? It mattered to him. The Spring Fling I could have skipped because none of my students would be there, but the embraces of those general education students and the smiles to see me there - are priceless. I could have skipped my homebound students, but they greet me with hugs, smiles and eagerness to learn - how could I disappoint them? I could have taken the day off, but it was going to be a tough day for my friend as it was the 2 year anniversary of her son's death - she and I have each other's backs ALWAYS! I did a lot of second guessing this week because I hurt, but think my choices will bring me peace since I believe I did what I needed to do.
I have struggled all week about whether or not to blog about these challenges, and today decided to share despite the risk of sounding whiny. We still haven't heard from the insurance company about what if anything they will pay toward the heat pump. Still without heat or a.c. This week the temperatures dropped to low 30s and rose to high 70s - neither is unbearable but also not comfortable.
He blessed friends. Remember that it is so often the smallest gestures that mean the most to others in our lives.