Ramblings of an overweight woman
Monday, May 20, 2019
I have been trying to lose weight for so many years. When my now 15 year old was small, I lost 30 lbs and felt amazing. Then parenthood, inexperience, marriage and stress took its toll and now it is 14 years later and I have 100 lbs to lose. I’m not angry. I am sad for the obvious carelessness that I have shown for myself. Sad that I made sure that everyone else came first before me. I’m sad for the thoughts that have plagued me. The judgements that I’ve feared but not received by anyone but my own mind. Now I find myself here, in this supportive community, wondering how to make myself want this enough to make the work worth it to me. Wishing for a pill to make it easy. But i know it’s a fantasy. Too good to possibly be true. Wishing I had just stuck with this or that and I wouldn’t be in this mess....this constant loop of self deprecating thought. I know I am worth it. I know, as a daughter of God, I am worthy of His love and His help and guidance. But how do I get from just knowing this to really believing it?