Monday, May 20, 2019
Ordinarily, I enjoy blogging as much as I can. There is a freedom about writing, clicking the keys in a rhythm puts me in a relaxing zone. Sometimes it just as simple as jotting down what keeps me up at night, letting go of mindless chatter that I dearly need to rid of.
Though I have been sleeping well, I do have a lot on my mind. Preparing for cervical surgery next month, my to-do list seems to grow daily. The recovery is long and tedious, and without being able to drive will keep me prisoner at home for a few weeks. I really don’t mind that because I do love my cottage and garden, but asking for help is difficult.
I’m an independent person and to be “needy” is not in my makeup. But I need to let go of my pride and learn to ask for help in this late of the game. I always assimilate neediness to weakness. Honestly, I don’t know why, but if I am going to get through this long recovery, asking for help will have to do.
Bernie, my Golden rescue will be vacationing at my girlfriend’s home while I recover. She has a fabulous garden that her dogs enjoy so I know he’ll be in wonderful care.
All I need to do now is mentally prepare and physically do what is needed before the big day. I wish so hard that I don’t have to have surgery but it is necessary because there is a chance that I can become paralyzed or symptoms would only get worse and stay that way if I don’t get my vertebras fixed. It is what it is…
So, for now, I think the best thing to do is to be grateful. And I am.