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The Ride...

Monday, May 20, 2019

Ordinarily, I enjoy blogging as much as I can. There is a freedom about writing, clicking the keys in a rhythm puts me in a relaxing zone. Sometimes it just as simple as jotting down what keeps me up at night, letting go of mindless chatter that I dearly need to rid of.

Though I have been sleeping well, I do have a lot on my mind. Preparing for cervical surgery next month, my to-do list seems to grow daily. The recovery is long and tedious, and without being able to drive will keep me prisoner at home for a few weeks. I really don’t mind that because I do love my cottage and garden, but asking for help is difficult.

I’m an independent person and to be “needy” is not in my makeup. But I need to let go of my pride and learn to ask for help in this late of the game. I always assimilate neediness to weakness. Honestly, I don’t know why, but if I am going to get through this long recovery, asking for help will have to do.

Bernie, my Golden rescue will be vacationing at my girlfriend’s home while I recover. She has a fabulous garden that her dogs enjoy so I know he’ll be in wonderful care.

All I need to do now is mentally prepare and physically do what is needed before the big day. I wish so hard that I don’t have to have surgery but it is necessary because there is a chance that I can become paralyzed or symptoms would only get worse and stay that way if I don’t get my vertebras fixed. It is what it is…

So, for now, I think the best thing to do is to be grateful. And I am.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You will be fine. No matter how hard it is, sometimes you have to ask for help.. it’s fine to do so!
    145 days ago
    Asking for what you need will be hard at first, but it is a skill you will learn. And you will be ready because that is just who you are! You are going to feel so much better when that new grandson is born! Focus on the future which is bright indeed!
    147 days ago
    I echo WATERMELLEN's comments. I can't think of anybody (in real life or online) who will be better prepared for the surgery and recovery than you, as I suspect you've worked through all the "what-ifs" in your mind and have contingency plans in place. You are so independent, it is not always an easy thing to acknowledge that you will need help -- but as others have said, you are so giving and generous with your friends on an ongoing basis that they will feel blessed to be able to give back to you and help as much as you need and allow. We've all read the studies that a positive attitude plays a big role in recovery, and you will find joy and delight even in the small things as you recover. I suspect it will be hard for you to be patient, you may tend to push yourself, and this is one of those situations that will take time. And it sounds as if Bernie will be in a loving home with friend to play with, and visits from him will be special for both of you.
    148 days ago
    Of course you are feeling anxious about the upcoming surgery, which is absolutely understandable: but it's necessary. You've put a good arrangement in place for Bernie. You have many friends and you're generous with your kindnesses to them: and now it's a further kindness to them to let them know the help you need. They will want to help and probably feel a bit hesitant about "intruding" so will welcome very specific info about what they can do.
    148 days ago
    Wishing you the best with your upcoming surgery and recovery. I was diagnosed with a terminal disease last year and I didn't like asking for help either. I found that even when I wasn't asking for help people were helping anyway. It takes a lot of strength to be honest with others about your feelings and even to yourself. It sounds as if you are coming to terms with what you will be facing. Just remember it is okay to ask for help. I have found that a lot of people love helping others and thrive on it. I enjoy helping others and so it only stands to reason that others do, too.
    149 days ago
    My dearest friend had extensive back surgery in February. She had a rough 1st month but now 3 mo down the road she is doing well and is grateful for the improvement. It is hard to ask for help, but people will feel good about being able to help you! Go with it! Hugs to you and Bernie Boy.

    149 days ago
    You have a great attitude! Wishing you the best! emoticon
    149 days ago
  • JANEDOE12345
    If I lived nearby then I would be there in two minutes to give you the reassurance you need. It will be ok. You will be fine. Relax...you will be ok, okay? Now be well and think good thoughts to draw good energy toward you. emoticon
    149 days ago
  • PHOENIX1949
    Most people are glad to help if/when asked, or at the least, guide you to resources you might need. There are a lot of good folks in this world contrary to what one might think from watching and reading the news.
    149 days ago
    I also find myself think about growing older and my family so far away, and I have no close friends, hopefully I will have Larry, but without him I honestly don't know what I would do. I have no idea who I would call to even take me grocery shopping. I guess I should be thinking about that situation. Good luck and hope you have the best success possible, and I know you will miss Bernie, but hopefully when you are able to get out and walk you will be able to get him back so you can do your walks together.
    149 days ago
    Sweetie, definitely ask for whatever help you need!!! I had to do that when I had my knee replaced and that's not nearly as intense a recuperation as yours will be.

    So glad that Bernie will be well cared for. I am sure that's a huge concern off your mind.

    You have so many people that care about you, I am sure they waint to help you in any way they can!

    HUGS and prayers.
    149 days ago
    I wish you all the best with your surgery and I think that is brave of you to write what you feel and to be open and honest.
    149 days ago
    I believe you are very brave. You are acknowledging your feelings about the surgery but know that it must be done - so you will do it! And I understand what you mean about asking for help. My whole life it has been my job to take care of myself, and pretty much everyone else who needs it. But even though I know that other people like to help too, asking for that help can be difficult.

    Knowing you, every i will be dotted and every t will be crossed so that when the day comes things will be smooth sailing. And while I'm sure Bernie will miss you, it's nice that he will be well taken care of. I felt so bad leaving Daisy last summer when we met the kids in Wisconsin but I knew she was getting all the love and attention she could ever want staying with Will, Crystal and the Boys. They even texted me photos of her every day!
    149 days ago
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