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Hail no!

Monday, May 20, 2019

Yesterday I didn’t get my run in because it suddenly started hailing. Here’s what happened. Me and the kids are getting ready (I.e. I am getting the kids ready while they play, run away from me, tell me they’re hungry, get undressed for no apparent reason). I’m like dudes we gotta go there’s no toilet paper in the house mmmkay!???? So we head out. Mother in law says, hey you guys wanna take an umbrella. “Nah I have one in the car,” I said. Like an idiot. Because yes, I do have one in the car. Buried in the depths of the dark hole of my trunk. It’s not seeing the light of day, probably until this car dies and I have to unpack it for the undertaker just like the last car (god rest its soul). And we cruised on over to get the tp. My spoiled kid is upset we didn’t get anything for him. I told him, this is for you! It’s toilet paper! Next time I’m gonna get you one ply! We head to food for less. We shop. All is good. I forgot the reusable plastic bags. Like an idiot. We throw four bags in the cart because, as I look out the door, I see it’s beginning to rain. We wait patiently in line. (I wait patiently. The kids don’t know the definition of patience.) I chat with the cashier. He loves the sound of rain, just like my husband. He says the average person spends too much time on social media and could wake up and meditate for 45 minutes for an ideal headspace. I hurriedly throw my food in the bags and turn to the door. Ah The door. Yes, it’s there but it’s crowded with loser scaredy-cat people who are afraid of a little rain. I work my way through the crowd and head out into... Hail!???? In Stockton CA. In the middle of May. My son is literally dressed in shorts because it was not that cold when we left. I throw my wool sweater over him, pull penny’s hood on her, and push my little shopping cart out there. Wondering, does the shopping cart conduct electricity from that thunder or do the wheels ground it? I’m walking, no running, no: wading to my car. Of course I parked far away because “I’m not lazy. I’ll walk to my car” Penny is 3 years old and hasn’t seen hail let alone been forced to ride in a shopping cart in a hailstorm wearing slippers for God’s sake. She’s like, horrified. Her little expression is becoming more and more terrified. “WHAT IS THIS!!!!” I’m like, “it’s hail baby. It’s just rain that turned into ice.” I’m pushing through as hard as I can but where the heck is my car!??? She suddenly yells, “GOD! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!??? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS GOD!????” We finally see the car. I open the back and all but throw her in her seat, as she’s starting to truly freak out, saying “ITS TOUCHING ME!!!!!” And realizing that she’s freezing cold. My son gets in the back and I fumble with the groceries. Why did I get so many grocieries!? My egg carton is soggy. I finally get in the front seat and start laughing hysterically. It was just so ridiculous. It’s the middle of May! It’s Stockton! Why God!? 😂😂😂😂 We (luckily) drove home safely. I carried penny’s little slippered self back into the house, and left the groceries in the car because the roads were flooded. But I did go back for the toilet paper. So yeah I didn’t run yesterday. But today I ran for 30 minutes. So there’s that.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Yeah, it is a crazy storm pattern this year.
    Your blog is funny, and I hope you kids understand what hail is now.

    151 days ago
  • JANEDOE12345
    Thank you. I loved reading this.
    151 days ago
  • GEORGE815
    Way to stick with the game plan and run after all that hail issue. Have a great week
    151 days ago
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