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Wheel in the Sky

Monday, May 20, 2019

But do I want to tell you about my Binge from Beyond the Grave and the Eating of Everything by Moonlight?

Or do you already know?

Do you already know the internal struggle, the endless thread of reasoning that your mind's spinning wheel produces so effortlessly? The back and forth, the internal dialog, the attempts to be rational, tell yourself that you really don't do this anymore, you're on a health path now, you're not that kind of girl?

Would you learn anything new from a description of the feelings, the desperation, the desire the desire the desire...
The wondering if you're really hungry because you didn't take good care of yourself during the day? The attempt to discern the difference between what your body says and what your mind thinks it wants?

Do you need to read about the afterward? The trying to sleep with a too-full belly? The next day's determination to keep going?

The reminders that this happens and has happened and will happen and happen and happen and it's okay? Do you need to hear that, what changes and will continue to change is the understanding that we're human, that we make mistakes and that we grow stronger and more loving toward ourselves and that we need to beat ourselves up less and less and forgive ourselves and hold ourselves gently and lovingly more and more with each passing day, with every hour, minute by minute?

Or do you already know?

"Wheel in the Sky" by Journey

Image: "Wheel of Fire," by Rusty Russ
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Very nice share. I especially like the part about more loving toward ourselves. Thanks, Glow!
    140 days ago
    🙋‍♀️ Take care of you...be kind to you...sending lots of positive energy to you. One day at a time...
    147 days ago
    The eating of everything by moonlight! How poetic you are! I guess it helps to have a sense of humor and use your creativity. I used to wake up in the middle of the night and eat. I don't do that any longer, but face the binge monster in myself during the day at times.

    Thanks for sharing. And please do be gentle with yourself. We all deserve the same kindness for ourselves that we extend to others.
    148 days ago
    Thanks for the honest blog
    149 days ago
    Been there, done that, over it !!! You can do it, NEVER GIVE UP !!!! HUGS !!!
    149 days ago
    Love the phrase "eating of everything by moonlight"! Though I typically prefer to devour disastrous amounts of food by daylight. By moonlight, I'm usually sleeping it off. That's what I tell myself anyway. For some reason, it doesn't seem to be working. Ah well, the wheel in the sky keeps on turning. I don't know where I'll be tomorrow..
    149 days ago
    Intellectually, we know but we need the reminders to feel it emotionally and psychically. As long as we're still on the path, we need the reminders.

    149 days ago

    Comment edited on: 5/20/2019 7:16:59 PM
    Yes. Yes we need to know and read and share. And be reminded. Reminded that we aren't alone. That these feelings and struggles aren't shameful - they are normal. Most importantly we need to hear that "we need to beat ourselves up less and less and forgive ourselves and hold ourselves gently and lovingly more and more with each passing day, with every hour, minute by minute" as you so beautifully put it.
    149 days ago
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