Getting back on track
Monday, May 20, 2019
Towards the beginning of the month, I wrote my monthly blog and some goals. I really had my mind set, I was going to get back on track- even if I just could meet one goal a day- Id be on my way to being back on track. But that hasn't gone so well. Some days, I meet quite a few goals, other I don't meet any or struggle just to meet 1 goal. I'm not sure why I am having so many problems getting back on track, even if its just slowly.
I know my anxiety and depression have probably a lot to do with it, but I have struggled with anxiety and depression for many years and have lost weight dealing with both before. Years ago, exercise actually helped my deal with the anxiety and depression. Now, I cant motivate myself to get off the couch somedays, let alone cook healthy or exercise. Sure, life has changed in many ways when I lost weight years ago...just to gain it all back, mainly because I was on medical restrictions for exercise and I went back to emotional eating to deal with life and my emotions. I always told myself, if I did it before I can do it again, and I know I can. Its finding the motivation and getting off the couch. Its getting up and just doing it, no matter how I feel. Maybe some days I will meet every goal, some day are going to be a struggle. And many others with anxiety and depression, some worse than I deal with, lose weight and are successful. Maybe I need to find people who I have this in common with, because the will understand the struggles- and the ups and downs.
The anxiety and depression are going to make it harder to get started and will make it harder to stay motivated, but I have done it before so I know I can do it again. And its not a reason to sit here and just eat and not do anything all day. Its not a reason to skip exercises and not eat healthy. Its not a reason to sit and dwell on everything that's wrong or how I feel Because all these things, are making me feel worse. I know if I got outside on these nice days or find an exercise I like- I know being more active will help me. I used to love exercising because it helped me deal with everything- my emotions, life, the anxiety, and depression. I used to enjoy cooking healthy meals. Now I struggle to cook anything. I need to do this for so many reasons, but I cant just need to do it- I have to want to do or Ill never be successful.
Im not really sure how to get started, I just know I need to get there. I know I cant keep letting myself go like this. My nutrition goes back and forth, some days its ok, other its horrible but even on the ok days, I defintly need a lot of improvement on it. My water is the best thing I have going...most days I get at least 64 ounces of water, I like I get more like 100 ounces a day. Most days I get around 70 ounces a day lately.
Im setting my first goal- tomorrow is supposed to be a beautiful day. Its supposed to be sunny and 63. To get started, my goal is go for a walk. Whether I walk up and down my drive way a few times, walk my road or go to the walking trail. My goal is to just walk, Im not setting for how long or anything because anything Is better than what I have been doing. This will be for first step to getting back to my healthy lifestyle and making better chocies!