Well this week has been about commitment and I got to thinking that the round I did the best in, not always on the scale, was the round I blogged once a week also. So I'm resuming that.
Blogging didn't change the amount of exercise or the number of calories, but it kept me focused and that lead to better results but also a more positive mindset. I wanted to look at the positives - nobody wants to write a big negative blog full of failings or how bad it was to not be able to have a big meal with the family.
Last time I blogged I was following a low carb approach, I don't even know if there's a name for what I'm doing this time - I'm just trying to live a more balanced life, I don't say "I can't have" or "I cheated" or "I fell off the wagon" anymore there is no failure, there's no set rules. And you know what its working out great
I keep in mind what I'm wanting to achieve and why. I don't say no to a slice of a friend's birthday cake, but I only want a small piece now as my tastes and appetite has changed
I don't set deadlines "I want to be 99kg by July 22nd" (That's actually an old one I had) because I now know if I set a deadline and then fail to meet it I give up on me and go twenty kilos up in a blink of an eye
This week I've been really ill, I'm worried about what is wrong with me, worried about if I'll lose my job, worried if they don't work out what is wrong by the time they find out is it going to be too late to fix it .... so I really don't have the energy to be worrying about a tonne of dieting rules. But all those failed diets, all those botched attempts - I've learned little things along the way and they're now just naturally there
I need all the things I can control to just be natural, easy, stress free. I eat when I'm hungry. I have healthy options available. On the day my girls and I are watching a movie I'll eat the bag of crisps but I don't keep multiple bags in the cupboard and have them instead of a healthy meal.
Yes I'm down a kilo this week, I'm happy about that but other than because I want to be an asset to my FBI teammates, I'd be equally happy if I'd gone up a kilo in many ways because I know it's not weight gain as such, its a result of my health or more carbs or sodium because overall each week I'm down - down in clothing size, down in empty processed calories, down in food spending. I'm up in producing fruit, vegetables and herbs. I'm up in attitude. I can't recall the last time I sat and binged on hidden junk food, then didn't eat for days out of guilt
to those days forever
This blog is a bit all over the place, like my head, but I'm not going to sit here editing it, I'm just going to post it and then go back to bed because it says what I needed to say and how things are.
Maybe next week there'll be a better blog that has a message and flow, or maybe my head will still be a mess - who knows