Another Day - Another Dollar
Wednesday, May 22, 2019
So this is the first time I’m writing in a blog. I write little notes here and there in a journal. But I never really know what to put down. My mind always goes at 1000 miles per minute and so settling it down – putting things on paper. I never really know how. My life is just one big ball of stress lately and so I’ve been told writing it out – even if it’s to no one is a good thing. Don’t know never really tried.
I’ve always been a hard worker. Sometime I think to my own detriment. I have always gone above and beyond and other people tend to take the credit and then when I become a threat I get disposed of. Current job not much different and you would think I would have learned my lesson years ago. I am 52 soon to be 53 but I guess Old dog new tricks doesn’t work.
I’ve been with company for 5 years, 4 years ago moved to a new department and pretty much worked my ass off. Leadership came and went – one came back. He relied on me heavily for the new changes to come and to help clean up the department. Which I did – even to the point of almost burn out. I even applied to get a promotion (yes we don’t just promote in our company) and got the new title. Which only meant at the time more work.
Then the beginning of this year we made the change to the new department. I was excited – I helped build this. I was ready to see it begin to take shape. BOOM….. Wrong answer.
Supervisor got made Manager: 1. He hired from outside the company for 1 new Supervisor. Ok whatever…. He didn’t even post within the company. Then they do post and before I can even talk about it with him. He hired someone who only just joined the department a month before. Again…. Ok – I’ll deal.
It then seemed to have gotten worse. I was always allow overtime as I was supposed to be in a leadership role. Now they cut that off completely. I now have to get a 13 hour a day job into 8. My morale dropped to an all-time low and I almost feel like I was cast aside. I’ve been lied to time and again about things and while they won’t admit it my role has changed drastically. I almost feel like that doormat everyone walks on to get somewhere.
4 years ago I was diagnosed with Type 2 and for 4 years I’ve managed to keep it under control. Now with all the BS going on – on top of the other things life likes to throw at a single mother. My BG levels have been spiking due to stress.
How does one manage – I can’t leave the job. Single mother, my hours are good and it’s close to home. I feel like the mat that I am is nailed to the ground and I can’t move.
It’s at least Wednesday, though I feel a migraine coming – a three day weekend is also coming. Need to get out and see the sun.