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Another Day - Another Dollar

Wednesday, May 22, 2019

So this is the first time I’m writing in a blog. I write little notes here and there in a journal. But I never really know what to put down. My mind always goes at 1000 miles per minute and so settling it down – putting things on paper. I never really know how. My life is just one big ball of stress lately and so I’ve been told writing it out – even if it’s to no one is a good thing. Don’t know never really tried.

I’ve always been a hard worker. Sometime I think to my own detriment. I have always gone above and beyond and other people tend to take the credit and then when I become a threat I get disposed of. Current job not much different and you would think I would have learned my lesson years ago. I am 52 soon to be 53 but I guess Old dog new tricks doesn’t work.

I’ve been with company for 5 years, 4 years ago moved to a new department and pretty much worked my ass off. Leadership came and went – one came back. He relied on me heavily for the new changes to come and to help clean up the department. Which I did – even to the point of almost burn out. I even applied to get a promotion (yes we don’t just promote in our company) and got the new title. Which only meant at the time more work.

Then the beginning of this year we made the change to the new department. I was excited – I helped build this. I was ready to see it begin to take shape. BOOM….. Wrong answer.

Supervisor got made Manager: 1. He hired from outside the company for 1 new Supervisor. Ok whatever…. He didn’t even post within the company. Then they do post and before I can even talk about it with him. He hired someone who only just joined the department a month before. Again…. Ok – I’ll deal.

It then seemed to have gotten worse. I was always allow overtime as I was supposed to be in a leadership role. Now they cut that off completely. I now have to get a 13 hour a day job into 8. My morale dropped to an all-time low and I almost feel like I was cast aside. I’ve been lied to time and again about things and while they won’t admit it my role has changed drastically. I almost feel like that doormat everyone walks on to get somewhere.

4 years ago I was diagnosed with Type 2 and for 4 years I’ve managed to keep it under control. Now with all the BS going on – on top of the other things life likes to throw at a single mother. My BG levels have been spiking due to stress.

How does one manage – I can’t leave the job. Single mother, my hours are good and it’s close to home. I feel like the mat that I am is nailed to the ground and I can’t move.

It’s at least Wednesday, though I feel a migraine coming – a three day weekend is also coming. Need to get out and see the sun.
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    141 days ago
  • RHOOK20047
    Welcome to SparkPeople. We are all here for the same reason, no matter what our personal story is. We are here to help each other to get to that healthy point we want to be in our lives. It is not going to be easy, but it is attainable. Make small goals and they will lead to big successes. You have to make you #1 and tell yourself that you are worth it. And remember you didn't gain the weight overnight and you won't lose it overnight. It takes time, determination, motivation and support. You can get it all right here! If you don't take care of yourself you can't take care of anyone else. If I can help in anyway, feel free to reach out to me! You can do it! We are here to help! Welcome and get active on this site. emoticon
    147 days ago
    Writing is a good step. Getting stuff off your chest usually help.
    You should apply to other jobs. Never know you could find something. I uderstand your position. It is not easy to leave when you are the provider.

    Hopefully if you can't change job you'll find a way to deal with this one and not let it affect you as much. I know what I am saying is not easy. It's almost impossible. But there sometimes you can't change things. you can only change how they affect you. This is a job. it's not your life. Maybe a punching bag would be a good way of getting the bad out of your system? who knows? you have to try and find mechanisms that will help you "clean the dirt" from work so you can have a happy life outside of it.

    Sending you good vibes and postive energy to help you thru this.
    148 days ago
    So proud of you for putting it down. Keep in mind that what you were might help someone else. Keep it to
    148 days ago
    Good for you for writing out what's on your mind! I've been in a similar work situation and I know it took a lot out of me. My advice: If you can't switch jobs right now, keep being a great employee and don't burn any bridges. You'll need a good reference if you ever decide to risk taking on a different job. In the meantime, also try to find joy outside of your job--with your kids, a hobby, a mini-vacation or stay-cation, etc. Find joy in the little things like flowers, cute pet videos, an amusing moment with a friend. Keep your eyes on the prize, as they say. I know how important a job is, but life is more than just your job. Try to meaning elsewhere while you earn a living. Best wishes!
    148 days ago
    Writing forces you to slow down think and organize thoughts
    148 days ago
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