Count your CAN'S, not your CAN'TS!
Wednesday, May 22, 2019
What do I do when nothing seems to work, I'm really sick, needing rest as much or more as I need activity? I've been sick and stuck in the weight plateau for almost TWO years!
What I TRY not to do is indulge in things that I know will hurt me. Last night I had a cup of pudding. That's about 350 calories that really didn't satisfy me. I was hungry again in a bit, and now I have the grinding issues with eating sugar to add to my woes. I looked back at the last month, and I've had too many days like that. I think to myself, it's only once, but they all add up, even if it's only once a week. And it's not like I love pudding, and don't have great food in my pantry!
I took a week off from exercising. I was confused, afraid, tired, and you know what? I DON'T feel better this week. I guess it's time to tweak my plan again. I couldn't keep up with my daily tasks, and meet my exercise goals, and I'm the type of person that if I can't win, I'll take my ball and go home. So I quit. Today I was reading on Sparkpeople the seven tips dieticians all seem to tell their clients. One of them was just adding activities, which is hard in a wheelchair. But not impossible.
I don't have the energy to bike an hour right now. But I have the energy to bike 10 minutes. Or weed the flower bed for 10 minutes. The seasons are changing and I need to be gardening, swimming with the little, picnicking with my family. Those things take energy, and I need to be flexible enough to account for that.
I didn't used to count the minutes in daily activities, but I'm doing it now. Today I did 90 minutes and it's only 1:15. I have a whole day to go. I'll be driving to a funeral, doing more housework, etc. That makes me feel much better about meeting my goals. Biking an hour is just an insurmountable mountain right now. Biking 5 minutes is achievable. Also, I have the time and energy in the winter, when I don't need to be out there pulling grass!
My therapist works with folks with chronic pain and trauma and today we were talking about thinking about all the things we CAN do instead of the things we CAN'T. I've always been one to look for the silver lining, and right now I'm looking harder than ever. But I look out my window as I write this and there are 20 Baltimore Orioles just outside the window waiting for jelly, the cat is napping in the sun, there is a mama cardinal on the feeder (daddy is in the tree guarding her) and a woodpecker eating peanuts. My husband will be home from work soon, and I'll get the hug and kiss I missed this morning because he let me sleep late!
I have a suspicion that "practicing patience" as I've written about in previous blogs, can be a bit confusing when I really want what I want RIGHT NOW. I want to be healthy, I want to be pain free, I want things to be effortless. I think I need to learn to stay in the moment, and be grateful for it. I'm still here to gripe about it! LOL I'm still here to keep trying. (I think I can, I think I can...)
Just to remind myself how precious each moment is, I had "This Magic Moment" tattooed on my forearm. Now I have to remember to look at it!