Been meaning to write a new blog post, but it just seems like my time flies by without me being in control of it. I've been very tired, I got a few good nights sleep, then started waking up very early again. I even stopped setting my alarm for an hour before the kids get up, and set it for 10 minutes before I get them up. But I find myself up at 1 or 2 and then just tossing in bed till I finally get up around 3.
I did finally order some coffee, so I don't have to drink this store bought swill anymore. I drink BRCC, Silencer Smooth Roast. It's a light roast, but very robust, I love it. We buy it by the 5 pound bag, so it lasts quite a while (whole beans and grind them fresh as we use them). I bought a variety pack for my nephew for his birthday, he should be getting it any day now - he uses pre-ground.
I bought a book called Do It Scared by Ruth Soukup. It comes with a free assessment (with code for the premium assessment) and a free printable workbook to go along with it, access to her podcasts and free trial membership to the Do It Scared community. I'm going to wait to do the trial membership to the community till I'm more into the book. I just took the assessment and printed the workbook. Now I'm going to watch the first podcast and read the first chapter on the different types of fears she's narrowed things down to 7 main groups or types.
I have been very depressed, and not eating well. I've been eating too much and craving sweets like crazy. I'm trying to reign that in. I recently found out from my bariatric surgeon that I'm supposed to be doing more of a Paleo diet than Keto. I got a book on Kindle to research on it, and I'm slowly figuring out what I can and cannot eat. I'm sad to say legumes are something I'm not supposed to have. Raw peanuts (I did not know they were actually legumes!) tear up my stomach, but boiled peanuts I can eat fine, but according to paleo, I should not have them at all. I need to get some more fruit in the house that the kids won't eat all at once, so that I can use that when I'm craving a sweet. Eating better will help with my depression, so will remembering to take my vitamins, which I have been doing only haphazardly. I need to start getting in some exercise and stop delaying it. Working out really helps with my depression, so these things I need to make a priority.
I had therapy on Wednesday, and DH and I went out to eat and had a long chat. I've been doing worse than I thought I was, according to him. Which is one of the reasons I bought the book, to help me out with my anxiety. I'm dealing with a lot of PTSD stuff as well, so I'm trying to find my PTSD workbook and my therapist is going to go through it with me. If I can't find it, I'll just buy another one and start working on it again. My psychiatrist suggested EDMR therapy, but I don't think my therapist does that kind of thing. Not sure. I've decided if I can't move forward with her, I'll find a new therapist. I like her a lot, but we don't seem to make much progress of late. I'm going to give her a few more weeks, and decide then. There is a therapist literally within walking distance of me that is supposed to be pretty good. I'd have to see if I liked him or not, I do have a harder time opening up to male therapist.
I'm working on a before bed routine and a morning routine for once DH is out of the house and off to work. I bought that comfy chair for my bedroom (needs some WD-40) and I've started reading for a bit before bed, getting away from the computer and taking my vitamins/meds, slowing down for a bit so I can relax into sleep mode. I'm trying to drink hot herbal tea during this time as well. I have forgotten for the past few days and only had a few minutes of wind down time, so maybe that is one reason I'm not sleeping as well as I was. I had one glorious night where I actually slept the whole night. Have not done that in what feels like ages, it was nice, but I was still so tired the next day. Maybe it is just that I'm so used to being worn out from migraines and seizures that I need to build up my stamina again. Next I want to buy a combination small coffee table/bookshelf for beside my table so I can do my reading there and have a place to put my tea and books. I found one I like on Amazon, but I'm wondering if I can find something I like at a thrift store.
This is something I need to print and keep in places I will see frequently!! I want to be there already, but I have to realize that there is no jumping to the finish line, I have to work hard every day and keep it up, and not give up and slowly I will get there.
Great news, and frustrating at the same time. DH told me he decided to "do the whole Keto/Paleo thing" with me. We had roast with carrots yesterday, perfect for a Paleo diet, but he bakes some frozen biscuits to go with it. He just frumped at me when I pointed out he said he wasn't going to do bread. Then complained that it was sitting heavy on his stomach. Well, yes, bread will do that to you. We are going to clean the exercise room this weekend, and get it where we can workout in it again. DH said he really wanted to start working out in the evenings after he came home and wound down for a bit. I'm not sure how he plans to do it, but I'll cheer him on. He doesn't think he can get up early enough to work out before work. He is so not a morning person!! But I'm glad he is at least starting toward being more healthy, that is a start, to be planning, at least. I hope we both find the 'want to' and start working out daily and eating healthy.
Happy Friday everyone!!