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05/24/19 Words

Friday, May 24, 2019



"Be careful with your words. They can only be forgiven, not forgotten."



"Legal disclaimer: McRonald's is not responsible for your happiness."


One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer. However, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, the zookeeper grabs him and forcefully drags him into his office.

The zookeeper then explains to the mime that the zoo’s most popular attraction, a gorilla, has died suddenly. The keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off. He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime accepts.

The next morning, before visitors arrive at the zoo, the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage. He discovers that it’s a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime.

However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he gets bored just swinging on tires. He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his.

Not about to lose the attention of the adoring crowd, he climbs to the top of his cage, crawls across a partition, and dangles from the top to the lion’s cage. Of course, this makes the lion furious, but the crowd loves it.

At the end of the day the zookeeper comes and gives the mime a raise for being such a good attraction as a gorilla.

Well, this goes on for some time. The mime keeps taunting the lion, the crowds grow larger, and his salary keeps going up. Then one terrible day when he is dangling over the furious lion, he slips and falls. The mime is terrified. The lion gathers itself and prepares to pounce. The mime is so scared that he begins to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind.

Finally, the mime starts screaming and yelling, “HELP! HELP ME!”, but the lion is quick and pounces. The mime soon finds himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion when he suddenly hears the lion whisper: “Shut up you idiot! You wanna get us both fired?”

dailyjokes.com


It's Don't Fry Day! The Friday before Memorial Day has a lot of reminders for us to be careful this weekend holiday, including the reminder to wear sun screen and protect our skin against skin cancer.
--Death Busters Day: Another weekend reminder: drive safely and carefully; Memorial Weekend is one of the most dangerous times to drive;
--Asparagus Day: a salute to a yummy vegetable; there is a white version that is common in Europe, including the type that is grown underground to prevent the chlorophyll, and a purple version called viola; asparagus is native to the Eastern Hemisphere.
--Aviation Maintenance Technician Day: a salute to the professionals that keep the aircraft up to safe standards; today is also the birthday of Charles Edward Taylor who built the engine used in the plane by the Wright Brothers.
--Schizophrenia Awareness Day: raises awareness about this mental disorder and educates to reduce the associated stigma.
--Brother's Day: a salute to all brothers including friends who seem like a brother; reach out to your brother even if he was a little pain when you were growing up (that was my favorite record you broke, little brother).
--Tiara Day: a day to feel like royalty; today encourages women to embrace and celebrate the power of leadership.
--Escargot Day: if you like snails, this is your day; I'll pass.
--Wig Out Day: a day to try out different styles and personalities; started by Kate and Alice Clark in Bellingham, WA in 2006; they encouraged people to come downtown in wigs and join a party.
--Scavenger Hunt Day: a fun outdoor game that gets everyone moving; perfect complement to yesterday's Orienteering Day.
--Title Track Day: a nod to nostalgia and the days of record albums; a salute to the song on an album that shares the name of the album and ties the entire album together.
--Queen Victoria's real birthday, May 24,1819.
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