Day 2 - The Reasons Why
Wednesday, June 05, 2019
I've never been much for sharing things with people. Stiff upper lip? That's me. I can totally relate to Elsa and her "Conceal, don't feel," mantra. Which is partially why my health is where it's at and why it feels so weird to share anything about myself. But we're all here to learn new things, right?
So here's the gist of my "before" story. After quitting smoking 17 years ago, (sweet baby jesus in heaven! I hadn't realized it's been that long!), I started to steadily gain weight. Two kids later, I was at what I hoped would be my highest weight (225).
About 10 years ago, I decided to do something to about it and found SparkPeople! So far, it's been the only thing that's helped me get to any goal weight I've ever had. Then life happened. In 2014 my daughter was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes and any thoughts I had about taking care of myself went out the window. It should've done the opposite, but I'm an emotional/stress eater.
I held it together for her, for our family and excelled in making it look like I had it all together. Sure, there were signs that I didn't, but you had to really know me to see it. But as much as I tried to not give away what was going on inside, it started to show on the outside in the form of weight gain. I gained the over 50 pounds I lost back, plus some, am now 231 and have been there for about three years.
So what's changed? What's made me decide that now's the time to do something about it? Honestly, I'm tired. I could write a book about all the things that I'm tired of but it all boils down to being over how I feel. Physically, mentally, emotionally. So I'm drawing a line in the sand and saying: "No more!"
It's time to start focusing on my future, not my past and to just let it go (but not like Elsa. I don't want to freeze everything!)