I get knocked down but I get up again

It has been a long, long time since I have looked at my spark page--it feels like it is just a reminder of my failing again. Oh how I desire to be successful at weight loss but it just seems so far out of reach. Just when I am doing well, something comes along and knocks me right on my butt and then I struggle for a long time to get back up and move again. To be successful at weight loss, I realize I am going to have to make permanent lifestyle changes--My life right now doesn't even feel like it exists--I seem so overwhelmed with everything around me that it is such a struggle to focus on weight loss but my being overweight is the one thing that I am constantly faced with each day and it leads to feelings of depression and frustration. I am going to have to work at staying focused and not letting myself get overwhelmed--I just wish somehow it was easier and I wish my life didn't feel so empty. I think I hear myself starting to have a pity party so I will stop here.