Going down swinging
Monday, July 15, 2019
So, today I am getting my motivation in order, knowing that my real struggle will be maintaining it. I am so sure that I'm going to lose it. Lose the momentum, the passion, the focus, etc..., but not so sure I'm going to lose the weight. This brought to mind a song by Fallout Boy: Sugar We're Going Down. The song may not be all about my struggle, but the line "Sugar we're going down swinging" is. In fact, I find it powerful. I can visualize myself "swinging" at the fear, anxiety, frustration and diminished energy that I'm sure I will face. If they're gonna take me down, I'm going down swinging.
Of course, this is all just the worst case scenario, disastrous thinking that plagues me. Maybe others out there feel the same way. Without it, we wouldn't be so careful. We might just throw ourselves into anything we feel at the moment. Not sure that's what I want or not, but it is an interesting thing to think about. One of my favorite Tarot instructors and general life guru is Lindsay Mack, of the Soul Tarot. One of the ways that she instructs about mental energy and the brain is by describing our brain as a predator. (Please follow the link to find out more... she puts it ever so much more eloquently than I do...) . Basically, our brains tell us whatever is needed to keep us away from that next step/growth/evolution/change, and tells us all of the things that will keep us away from anything foreign. So, if you've been sitting in a recliner playing games on your phone for the past 18 months (whistles and looks away...) then the brain is going to tell you that DVD exercise program is DANGEROUS! and you should DEFINITELY NOT PUT ON THOSE TENNIS SHOES! This is how I feel right now. My brain wants me to think I need to curl up and stay safe in my little nook, which is very cozy and calm, and has absolutely zero risk involved. So on one hand, the brain is a liar, telling me things are dangerous when they clearly are not, but on the other hand, my nook is very cozy and I never fail at relaxing when I'm in it.
But brain, sugar, I'm going down swinging this time...