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Getting Real And Setting My Sites...

Sunday, July 21, 2019

Why do I end up blogging in the middle of the night most nights? LOL, insomnia for one. Tonight was an exception, my sweet pup Hope is terrified of stormy nights, and I kept being woken the moment I would start to drift off, thinking something had woken me. It wasn't until I heard Hope bark that I realized why. My brain trying to wake me up to tell me my dear girl was scared. She is happily asleep now, after lots of pets, rubs and luvs, and playing with a treat toy, on the floor beside me, occasionally grunting happily or snoring, LOL. Love her!

Okay... Time to get real. I did finally face the scale... at the doctor's office. I am in the 180's again!!! Argh!! I was down to 166!! Now I'm 183! But, this just means it is past time for me to get back on track and doing what I know works. I'm still sick, so no working out till I get feeling better, but I can cut my portion sizes back down, start having my daily protein shake again (have been avoiding because I'm still getting fevers and they make me so cold!) and stop the sweets!! And no more eating in between meals!!

I had already set a goal for myself to be completely Paleo by 1 August, mainly because I need to find some good teas to sub for coffee in the morning, I'm not looking forward to giving up coffee, but I must. DH says, why can't you just drink it black? I do. No, he doesn't. He doesn't use creamer, so technically it is still black in color, but he uses three spoons of sugar in it, something I can't do (refined sugar is not Paleo, and I'm diabetic, one of the reasons I'm stopping coffee is due to the sugar I use in it). Besides, coffee needs creamer, imho. Most teas don't need much, if any honey, which is Paleo.

I tend to eat whatever is easy and quick when I'm sick, and sometimes being sick makes me eat everything in sight, and other times it makes me barely eat. This is one of the times that I'm constantly hungry. Not what I need. I think I'll start having either some coffee or hot tea (plus I keep my water bottle full and handy at all times) whenever I feel hungry, hopefully this will keep me from overeating. I also emotionally eat, and I've got a lot going on right now. But it seems that with my family (my brother and such, though I try to keep him and the rest of them as much out of my life as possible) and my now teenage ODD (well, one week from now) and pre-teen YDD, there is always drama.

Sunday is planning and prepping day for me. So today (after I've gotten some more sleep!) I'm going to plan out my week with the girls as usual, and then I'm going to plan out my meal plan for my first two weeks Paleo, do as much research as possible and make sure I have on hand what I will need to that there will be no excuses not to stick to the plan. I'm usually pretty good at once I have a clear plan set out, sticking to it, but I'm only human, so I want to make things as easy as possible.

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So, it is morning now. I didn't sleep a wink. Every time I started to fall asleep either something would jolt me back awake or DH would roll, and by roll I mean throw himself over, often accidentally hitting me with an outflung arm. I'm so tired.

Glad I'm still drinking coffee. It's going to take a lot today. Planning day is spent with the kiddos mostly, and takes a lot of patience keeping them from losing interest or getting distracted. Plus, I really want to research and come up with my first two weeks of Paleo meal plan, and make that a habit. I don't want to not be able to eat Paleo one day because of lack of planning. As they say, failing to plan is planning to fail. I don't intend to fail. As I've stated in a previous blog, I want to be in the best shape possible by my 40th birthday next April.

I happened upon a book called Beyond Flight or Fight. I'm praying it will help me with Hope and her fears and anxieties. After reading the introduction, I stopped and looked up the author Sunny Weber, and found a 'contact us' button and sent her a quick summary of our problem, to see if she has any other resources that will help us. After thinking about the actions of the trainer that I was going to work with and how positive reinforcement is the best way to train a SD, or dog of any kind. He basically dragged her up and down the neighborhood, overpowering her, scared out of her mind, until she was too tired to fight back, though she did still try. Not the way I think it should be done. I think I need to find yet another trainer. Or more resources and just do it without the aid of a hands on trainer. None of the ones near here seem to understand what positive reinforcement is, except for a Marine vet that trains dogs that lives too far away for me to even consider trying to go to him, and is way to expensive for me to send her to him.

Hope you have a good Sunday!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Took a long time to get to sleep here last night. I ended up taking a pill probably around 2, but I would not check the clock. I didn't want to know how much sleep I'd lost. When I don't sleep enough, I end up with nausea. Almost told DH I wanted to leave church this morning, but sat in the back and tried to concentrate on the sermon. It kept me home from this evening's service. Hope we both are able to make up the sleep deprivation tonight.
    180 days ago
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