Day 3 Just Starting Out
Wednesday, July 31, 2019
Thought I'd try this blogging thing out, as I've never done it before. I didn't get a chance to do Day 1 or Day 2, so we are off to a great start! LOL
Today I read the chapter in the Spark book about values and goal setting. Sounds easy enough, right? Figure out your values and beliefs, then your purpose, and start setting goals. Well, not that easy. It took me awhile, but here is what I came up with.
What are my values and beliefs? Helping others, family, keeping things simple, being organized. I believe that happiness is is a verb, it requires ACTION and doing things. I feel like I have already fulfilled a major purpose or calling for my life by becoming a counselor. I get to talk and listen to people every day, helping them solve problems and figure themselves out. But part of me knows the ugly truth - that I'm a ginormous hypocrite! I don't do any of the things I suggest to my clients to do every day! And this is at odds with who I truly want to be.
What are some of the things I dislike about being unhealthy and overweight? There are many. I don't like the way my clothes feel as they are digging into the fat rolls on various parts of my body. I don't like that I feel tired all the time, and the simplest activities can cause me to feel winded and fatigued. The last time I tried going to the waterpark with my family I could barely get up the stairs to ride some of my favorite rides, because I got winded and my knees started killing me. I'd like to try things like ziplining, pole dancing classes - but currently I'm at the upper end of the weight limit for these activities and I don't dare try them for fear of being told "no" due to my weight. Oh the humiliation. Forget about cute shoes - my feet are even wider than they were before. Shopping for cute clothes is possible, but you pay more to shop at the stores for "plus size" women. And I'm sorry, but cute shirts large enough to fit me end up looking like tents. The other day, I found myself struggling to get out of the stall in the bathroom and that was embarrassing. Luckily I was the only one in the restroom at the time. I haven't been able to wear my college ring in years - fingers are just too fat these days.
What would I like things to be like? That's easy. I'd like my clothes to fit comfortably. I'd like to have a wider variety of stores and clothing styles to choose from. I want to have more energy to be able to participate in LIFE without having to ask myself whether my lungs or knees can handle it. I'd actually be open and smile for photos, especially full body photos, because I'd be happy with my appearance instead of embarrassed. I'd overall have more energy and be able to move around easier, get up and down from the floor easier, get up and down stairs easier. I'd worry less about current or potential future health problems - things that could kill me like another pulmonary embolism. And finally, I'd feel that I was actually a better role model for my clients in that I'd be practicing the lifestyle and skills that I'm suggesting to them that they incorporate into their own lives.
So I guess goal setting comes next, but I'm saving that for another day. For now, this is where I'm at. I've been logging in daily, tracking my food daily, and trying to drink more water. I've also been doing 20 min pilates videos during my lunch break. Hey, it's better than laying on the couch playing games on my phone. Today in my counseling session I realized that I'm not very good at dealing with my feelings of anger and guilt. The way I've been dealing with them is by NOT dealing with them, and instead stuffing my face with food. This helps in the short term, but long term it has really caused me way more problems. So also on my list of things to do is figure out what to do with these emotions. Fun LOL