The stories we tell ourselves.
Wednesday, July 31, 2019
I've been thinking about this a lot this week. I know it's a part of cognitive therapy, where we retrain our brain to focus on a different line of thought, because sometimes we jump to the worst case scenario because of bad memories, when, perhaps, it has only just happened once, but was quite traumatic.
I had a hard meeting with a fertility doctor last week, that has left me feeling rather hopeless about having another baby. What I have found strange is how hard I took news, even though I already knew this issue was an obstacle, and how I could feel my mindset shifting to the loss of not having another child, rather than the absolute joy of having already had one healthy, wonderful child.
It is so easy to lose focus on the good stories that we can share and tell.
I went back to my blog at the beginning of the 5% challenge and what my hopes for it were, and I realised that I'm not doing too badly. I did gain weight last week. And again, my focus has fallen on this "failure". But, then I thought about the successes. I'm at a 62 day streak for tracking, I have increased my walking, and my running in falling into a nice routine - all of this during a Summer where each week was different. I may have gained a pound, or two, but the top number I see on the scale is lower than it was two months ago. That's something.
These last two days I have realised how important it is for me to move. I'm prone to lethargy, and when I injured my foot last year, and was unable to walk or run for a very long time, that lethargy kicked in, exacerbating my low mood. Now that my foot is much better, I can move again - and I am! Sensibly, though. No half marathons for me this year, but daily walking and a jog every other day, will keep my energy levels up. I see now how important that is for me, now. I do not do yoga everyday, but certainly every other day. These habits are getting stronger.
So, what about the eating? 62 days of tracking and you would think I had lost some weight by now! But I go over my range most weekends still, and when my stress levels spike I run to the food cupboard. Sometimes I can catch it and stop, but sometimes I can't. I wonder what deep story I am telling myself in those moments. I hope to unpick that one.
There's no doubt that life sends us many tough days, but we need to try and remember the good ones, too. when things worked out and there were no unpleasant surprises, and, perhaps remember the stories of when things went well a little bit more vividly than the sadder ones. I think that the good stories can help us when the going is especially tough.