Tired of Being Fat!
Tuesday, August 06, 2019
I have turned into a Negative Nellie somewhere down the line and it simply has got to stop!
I keep derailing myself with this behavior and bad attitude! When I was growing up, I was surrounded by those who put me down and made me feel small. I was very insecure as I moved into adulthood, and continued to be surrounded by those who made themselves feel better by using me as their scapegoat and door mat.
I have finally come to realize the error is not only in their thinking, but in my own. I have left all those negative people behind- I cut them out of my life like the cancer that they are- but somehow I held onto the belief that I was unworthy of love and I continued to undermine myself at every turn. This journey is no different. But now the light bulb has come on- This negativity isn't coming from the outside- its from inside me! OUT! OUT Damned spot I say!
I will not give into this darkness!! With the love and support of the folks I have here and in my home life- backing me and supporting me every day- I can get back on track, pick up my torch and carry on- and so can you!
Nobody knows how much I struggle- only I carry that burden - but if I can do this- anyone can! And I CAN! I sit here in my tight shorts with my belly roll rubbing against my desk and make the declaration- NOTHING is going to take away my focus. Ive replaced my Fit Bit, Ive put new and better workout clothes and I am determined! I even have a new man in my life to keep me motivated to keep up with him!
Life is still hectic, but it is life and it is GOOD!!