I have undone my hard work
Tuesday, August 20, 2019
After working so hard and losing so much weight, it didn’t really occur to me that I would start gaining it back. But these old terrible habits that I had had for so many years seem to catch up to me. Overtime I slowly begin to eat more and indulge more. Fast forward, I’ve gained 30 pounds back. This is devastating for me to admit to myself and I am so ashamed at myself and so depressed about gaining back some of the weight that I worked so hard to lose. I have an anxiety disorder and it has gotten the best of me on multiple occasions. I am on a medicine that one of the side effects causes weight gain because I am ravenously hungry all the time. I have to weigh whether or not I want to be slim and healthy or whether I need to have my anxiety controlled her medication. I could give a list of excuses as to why I gain weight back, but the cold hard fact is I gained it because I quit tracking and started indulging. I only have myself to blame and the only way around this is to go back to the habits that I had made to lose this weight. It is very hard this time because I am so ravenously hungry all the time from that medication. But, I cannot allow myself to get big again. I cannot.