In this moment, trying to begin my journey again, I find myself unable to really find what I want to say. This first entry feels so very important. I've done this many times before, yet I can't figure out what I wish to write. Should I type out my reasons for beginning this journey, the reasons why I need and want to achieve my goals. Should I detail my plans and the goals and rewards I wish to give myself? Should I search high and low for the best motivational photos of before and after, or some words that hit home and spur me to continue forward.
None of these seems to be enough and all of them combined is too much.
To be completely honest, this could be because of the number of times I've started this.
There were times I did really well. Where the weight went away, the energy levels rose and I was very active, and happy with the results. Yet there were also many times over that I had failed, I had gained back the weight, I had lost the motivation, I had seen the slight results I obtained vanish behind my poor choices.
These moments have left me to wonder, what is it that I now need to succeed?
So here I am, writing what I am actually thinking, and hoping this time, I know enough to keep going forward.
Yes I have goals.
Yes I have photos and quotes.
Yes I have real reasons to demand of myself some progress.
Yes I have seen my ups and downs and learned some things that are hard to express in words.
This is my "new" fresh start.
This is my "new" found hope.
And I'm realizing it may be the fact that the "new" might be the way this time WILL be different. All these things that I have learned, they will help me. This entry won't be the last one I do. And although the ones that came before it have all been lost to cyberspace or deleted... they have helped me get to this point.
This time, there is no room for doubts about my ability.
This time, is where I'm choosing to do what I need to do to reach my goals, necessities and desires.