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The Skinny Diaries

Tuesday, August 27, 2019

I’ve known nothing other then what it’s like to walk in rather heavy shoes. My body somehow fell apart while my brain adjusted to being heavyset over the years. My heart yearns for the ‘skinny’ jeans. Will I ever be ‘skinny’? Maybe not in the literal form. I’ll always have curves and being heavyset for a very long time you start to embrace the curves.

I wasn’t always obese! In fact I was quite ‘skinny’ until I turned 21. I then went on medication that slowed down the metabolism and made me eat everything in site as if I was permanently stoned. I’ve never done drugs, but I can imagine from what I’ve been told by those who smoke weed, the munchies are real. With the medication i was craving anything and everything! I might as well have been a pot smoker.

Despite needing the medication for life. I knew it was either accept being fat or be miserable and hungry. When I was younger there seemed to be no in between.
The truth is I’ve never accepted my body. Even as a thin younger woman many years ago.

Funny how I can live out two extremes. The doctors telling me to gain weight for my health at fifteen. To at 37 being handed brochures on losing weight for my health.

Weighing in at 297. I find myself always pondering why something so simple as the concept of calorie intake and working out, seems so daunting and difficult to process.

I know what I need to do it’s just food tastes so good!

So after trying to formulate methods where I can lose weight and not be deprived I think I figured out the secret. Anything in moderation. One or two slices of pizza. One small plate at the buffet. One cookie or small slice of cake.

If I make small changes at first it creates healthy habits.

You have to eat the way that suits your specific needs to lose weight and keep it off.
You also have to be realistic.

I can’t eat three salads a day and have that be it. Or fast one day and eat 500 calories for the rest of the week.
I’ll lose weight but I won’t keep it off.

I think moderation and portion control is the way to go!

So after realizing that I need to be more in the drivers seat with weight loss. I finally feel ready to take the wheel.

Will I drive towards ‘skinny’? No! My destination is to improve my health and quality of life. That’s the path I’m taking.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    emoticon emoticon
    391 days ago
    Thank you for the words of encouragement! I needed to hear those. Its been a long time since I took losing weight seriously. I just realized that with my many health problems that not only do I need to lose weight, I want too. I want the young body of my current age not the body of a ninety year old. I share some of the same health problems as my moms godmother who’s 91!

    I also know for the things I want to do in life being smaller Is more feasible.

    I see the dietician in September. I know I got this, I just know I can’t do it completely on my own.
    396 days ago
  • RHOOK20047
    Welcome to SparkPeople. We are all here for the same reason, no matter what our personal story is. We are here to help each other to get to that healthy point we want to be in our lives. It is not going to be easy, but it is attainable. Make small goals and they will lead to big successes. You have to make you #1 and tell yourself that you are worth it. And remember you didn't gain the weight overnight and you won't lose it overnight. It takes time, determination, motivation and support. You can get it all right here! If you don't take care of yourself you can't take care of anyone else. If I can help in anyway, feel free to reach out to me! This doesn't have to be 3 salads a day. Balanced clean eating will get you to where you want to go! You can do it! We are here to help! Welcome and get active on this site. emoticon
    397 days ago
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