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Grief and Pepsi

Wednesday, October 02, 2019

For as long as I can remember I have had an addiction to Pepsi - not soda - just Pespi. Emotional, physical, mental... and all the rest.

It started early.

Growing up, if I worked hard I got a small glass of Pepsi. If I had a really bad day - Pepsi. If one of my animals died, if I got a good grade, if we were going on a trip, if mom was in a really good mood....that sweet satisfying glass of Pepsi.

I actually stopped drinking any caffeine for both of my pregnancies. And I remember the first cup of Pepsi after my babies were born. Seriously - I licked the cup.

I know I still use Pepsi as a solace and as a reward. . Really for me its the first sip - just poured but still a little fizzy. After that first sip its not that big of a deal.

Last week there was a sudden death in the family. A death that shook me to the core. For three days I chugged Pepsi. I am pretty sure the most I drank was 3 in one day but I cant guarantee that. And I wanted every last sip.

I am still grieving of course. But I know what Pepsi is for me. So every time I go to get one I stop and ask why... what emotional bump caused this need. I work on that bump - analyze/ dissect/deal. Somethimes I still get that glass of Pepsi. And it's okay. I am a work in progress and I am not going to let a bump derail me. Account for the calories, understand the triggers, and plan for the next time a bump happens.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SUNSET09
    Confession is good for the soul emoticon and I enjoy Diet Pepsi emoticon as I was raised on Diet foods, salt substitutes and such. It's my refreshment as well as my dessert so everything in moderation does not mean you have to give up your favorite things. It sounds like you have it under control as you're thinking about it. emoticon and good going. We're all a work in progress and never emoticon learning emoticon and growing emoticon emoticon
    188 days ago
  • BONNIE1552
    Maybe mix it half and half with diet pepsi? My husband swore he'd never drink a diet drink - but he mixed coke with diet coke and eventually made the switch. Of course, water is still a better choice - but I have to have my Coke Zero.
    188 days ago
    You can do it
    188 days ago
    Keep moving forward
    188 days ago
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