Saturday, October 05, 2019
Well, I had a huge blow about a year ago. My husband passed away and put our whole family in a shock. I'm on my own now but not~I know God is with us.
Some of my fears are obvious...can I do this? Take care of my boys...myself...can we make it? We are making it! Then there's the single thing. Ummm...don't know what to say. It's hard and yes I've dated. Met some great people...a lot of hurting people too. Just not sure of what I want. I was picky when I found my best friend. So...there's that. Lol
This weight loss thing is huge on my mind. I just want to feel good in my own skin. Good about what I'm eating. Taking care of myself. I invision a lower bmi...I want to be tight!! Not for some guy...for me. So about 15 lbs or maybe a bit more?
I have honestly been busting my ass...hosting for international students. Fixing my fence...gardening...taking care of everything. It's a lot of work but I feel very blessed.
I went out a couple of times. Once got really drunk...it was an accident really. Feel disappointed in myself. So, making sure that NEVER happens again.
My greatest peace is in prayer...at church...in His word with HIM.
So, I know I'm saying a lot of random things...just my thoughts. Here's a few more. I want to be my best and I don't care of my age. I am hoping for God to send me an amazing guy one day or not. Preparing myself for either.
Then, there's another thing on my mind...when I'm not hosting and taking care of teens...what do I want to do? I want a career without crazy college debt.
All of these things and I'm excited for life! My journey is not over. Want to live life in it's wholeness!!
Keep crushing it people!! Yes we can!!