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A New Start and a Shaky Resolve

Saturday, October 19, 2019

Truth time.
I had made some small progress by getting into the last ten pounds above Onederland. and i stayed there for quite a while. Then came almost a week at my dad's and a course of steroids---those two things brought me back up to 2015. Last I weighed I was 212. I'm disgusted with myself. I go shopping for clothes and I pick up something in my size and I think to myself "This will never fit me....it's enormous!" And I try it on-and it fits-or maybe is still too tight. How can this be? I just bought a coat from Woman Within and it is an 18-20...and their sizes are much larger than you would think -going from just the numbers. Granted...it is big on me. I probably could have gotten away with a size smaller but it's a pain to return it.

I''ve had it. I'm tired of being fat. I'm short of breath just walking across a room. My ankles are in very bad shape and I can imagine that this extra 100 lbs puts enormous strain on them. Maybe if I weighed less, i could do more. The PsA/RA (psoriatic arthritis and rheumatoid arthritis) make it really hard for me to exercise. My fused ankles make almost every exercise impossible. I have two totally bad shoulders...and elbows. I cannot lift even a pound without pain.

But I think of my friend Beth (INDYGIRL) and I think of her needing to lose about 300 lbs and being in almost the same bad place as I am in regard to pain and disability---and she has lost over 200 lbs! She got sick and tired of being sick and tired---and fat--and she decided to do whatever it took to lose the weight and regain her health. And I think ( I HOPE) I'm at that same place now also.

I am unsure of my ability to follow the Spark meal plan because It is really very difficult for me to cook anything.-- even making a cup of coffee hurts too much. I will probably have to amend the diet to make the meals easy to prepare. For the past maybe a year...i have been subsisting on frozen meals. And some of them are ok as far as healthful and low-calorie. Of course the ones i like are filled wiht pasta and cheese...

Ages ago (2010-11) i lost 70 lbs following the Spark meal plan and exercising. I got into really good shape and I was delighted to watch the numbers on the scale get lower and lower. And I was no longer short of breath or too weak to walk from the house to the car. Is that possible now? I know the exercise is just not possible. But where there is a will....yep. ... there has to be a way.

I'm not promising anything....and maybe not expecting much either...But I'm here, writing as honestly as I can--and that is a start.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You did it before Cynthia you CAN do it again.If you don't like plain water put
    fruit slices in it.Do the chair exercises.Order healthy foods from places you
    don't have to cook or prepare,if possible.Don't give up or get frustrated no
    matter what.We all know it takes time and effort! emoticon emoticon
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    338 days ago
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    338 days ago
    Yes...that is possible now. There is great hope for you!! And welcome back to SparkPeople!! The trick is to start small and then build from there...slowly...keeping yourself as comfortable as you can every step of the way. If exercise is out for now, then just focus on your nutrition. An excellent start is to begin tracking your nutrition. Log every bite of food and water you take in. Study your log. Does it show that you're overeating? Does it show that you're eating enough? How many grams of protein are you eating daily? Are you eating enough protein? What does your log tell you about the fats you're eating? Are you including good fats in your diet and limiting the bad ones? Are you drinking enough water? You may find many areas in need of some improvement. Rather than to tackle them all at once, just pick one (like getting enough water) and work on that one until you're consistently getting the water that you need. You're in command here! Make your very own, uniquely devised meal plan work for you and for your weight loss needs. You can do this! Take advantage of all the resources available to you on SparkPeople. I love reading the articles and blogs. Take a deep breath...let's go for it!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    338 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.