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Day 6-Stop the Train, I want to get off

Thursday, October 24, 2019

you might be wondering how yesterday i said it was my third day and today - it is the 6th. Well for the first two days I himmed and hawed and half-heartedly tracked. It wasn't until Sunday the 20th that I really got serious. But I decided that I really should jive with SP's assessment of my time here rather than my own.

ANY WAY...I'm down another pound! Three pounds in less than a week. And I'm astounded by how much food I'm eating on this plan. It's way more than I normally eat. I keep thinking, how can I lose weight while eating all this??? But I am. So I will gratefully accept that and keep on eating.

My daughter had a crisis this past weekend. She weighed herself for the first time in a long time and was appalled to find she was almost 200 lb. There's a whole lot of water under the bridge between her and food. She has an eating disorder and has been successfully managing it since her High School days when she was in treatment for it. Now, however, she is once more st
ruggling. I WISH she would come here to Spark where it is not all about food. It's about creating a healthy lifestyle...even sleep is important. I just spoke to her and she said she would give SP a try.

I do have to report that I am sleeping better. I have really crazy sleep habits...maybe that will change as I become more healthy in terms of nourishment. I used to get up and eat at night (I still do sometimes) but this past week there were at least 3 nights where I didn't eat at night. I've been sleeping more soundly and waking a little foggy headed--but that is because I was sleeping deeply.

I feel like I'm being dragged, somewhat unwillingly in to a place I'm not comfortable with and where I'm not sure i want to go. It's the whole idea of health. I've heard all kinds of nutty cures for RA and PsA--and doctors and sufferers who have tried EVERYTHING to no avail, all will tell you, "There is no treatment that works. Your best hope is biologics," a category of medicine which is highly toxic and which destroys your immune system. They have tons of bad side effects...and I've been on almost every single one made--to no avail. I waited too long to get into treatment.

Anyway the thought of "getting healthy" is a painful one...because i know I will probably, barring a miracle, be healthy again. So why strive for health if it is an impossible dream? I don't know the answer to this. We have the assignment, should we choose to accept it (!), to be the most and the best we can be. To live life as fully as possible while we can. Is it too late for me to do this? Is the damage too advanced?? Is health a tease? a false prophecy? if I get "healthy" will my symptoms lessen?

Stay tuned because like it or not, I'm on this ride and even if it doesn't take me to a destination I would choose and even though I've gotten on the train and it is moving...I'm not sure I won't leap off next time it slows. Or maybe I will stop fighting it and enjoy the scenery and the ride.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • ~INDYGIRL
    If you lessen your inflammatory responses, you feel less pain, less symptoms, don’t get WORSE.
    331 days ago
  • ~INDYGIRL
    Because- the healthier you get, the more weight you lose, the less pain you will be in. Weight causes an inflammation response and so do many of the foods that cause weight gain. Inflammation a big deal with many things that plague your life.
    331 days ago
  • JUDITH316
    Keep up the great work, emoticon On your weight loss, cheering you and your daughter on your journey. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    332 days ago
  • DETERMINED369
    Maybe we should be actively enjoying our train rides?? You know, taking pics of all the scenery and people along the way. Exploring each of the destination stops along the way. You and your daughter can enjoy some fun times!!
    emoticon emoticon
    332 days ago
  • POSITIVEHOPE
    There are lots of goals on this train ride. Getting healthy isn’t just one stop on this train. Your heart and lungs can get healthier. Your self esteem can improve. You can feel happier, too

    You may not make as much progress with your joints as you might like but it’s possible that they will function better at a lower weight.

    I have severe asthma. I understand health limitations. I’m not gonna to let that stop me. We can all experience improved health on this journey even if it isn’t in a perfect body.

    332 days ago
  • LUCYCAN7
    Mother&Daughter both of emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    332 days ago
  • no profile photo MLR_00
    👍🏻
    333 days ago
  • MMICKEYP
    Whoo! Whoo! That's the best train whistle I could come up with, this early...lol. Congrats on your success. I'm on my third week and haven't packed eating anything I love...I just track it all. Think of it as a train track...keep the train on the track!!! Haha emoticon
    333 days ago
  • FUNNYFACE101002
    You are awesome and worth it . That is why you are going to get healthy. Never give up on you. Have the compassion you have for your daughter. You deserve it. You are making some great choices. I understand the start dates. It is good that you are now with Spark. Please stick with this. The support from others is so great. I have gone from the impossible to the possible because of this. I did ok, but when I added the social piece in I really did well. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!
    333 days ago
  • MMICKEYP
    Whoo! Whoo! That's the best train whistle I could come up with, this early...lol. Congrats on your success. I'm on my third week and haven't packed eating anything I love...I just track it all. Think of it as a train track...keep the train on the track!!! Haha emoticon
    333 days ago
  • NEPTUNE1939
    emoticon
    333 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.