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Going Blind?

Saturday, November 09, 2019

I will try to make this blog shorter than its predecessors. On Thursday I went to the eye doctor and after he did a number of tests, he lowered the boom The glaucoma that I knew I had, he had told me a year or two ago was a non-critical form...that it would not advance and all I had to do was use the eye drops. Well then I had a hard time finding an eye drop that I could live with. Either I was allergic to them, or they were too expensive or they changed my baby blues to a muddy brown (irreversibly). So we decided that because of my exceedingly high eye pressures on Thursday, I would have to suck it up and let my eyes turn brown. And then came the bad news. I have optic nerve damage. THe glaucoma is progressing....rapidly. And it is true. I have been struggling to see lately. I had changed the settings on all my devices to large fonts. And I never seem to have the right pair of glasses on (I have three pairs).

I don't want to be a Cassandra...and think the worst....but nonetheless my mind has wondered whether or not i am on the path to blindness. I wonder how I will be able to get around...crutches (as now) my electric wheelchair--that would be tough if I couldn't see. white cane...assuming I can still walk. Guide dog?? Now Cynthia, cut it out!

My weight goals seem rather unimportant at the moment. Yesterday I didn't feel like eating and the only thing that seemed at all appealing or even palatable were comfort foods. Simple carbs. I will try harder today. Back on track. Why? Because sometimes you just have to put one foot in front of the other in faith that God knows what He is doing and what his purposes are and that He is in control. Not me Not my doctors.

Three years ago my mom died...and my dad, now, talks about what got him through those dark days of grief and he shared his secret: "Do the next thing"....he kept himself incredibly busy, moving from one task to another. Sometimes in auto pilot...but that is how he kept afloat. And that is some good advice. There is a lot I cannot do because of my illnesses but I think the sheer determination not to be flattened by this...to go on with my life as best I can...will get me through...and prayer. That is the next thing for me now.
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  • ONEKIDSMOM
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

    Feel for you. I, too, have glaucoma, have been on the eye drops for I think it's three years now. When I was first diagnosed it was a HUGE downer, as my grandmother went blind in the final months of her life from this cause. It really touched a visceral fear for me.

    Hang in there, and like your dad, move to "the next thing".
    315 days ago
  • POSITIVEHOPE
    Prayers that your doctor can find a way to treat your condition. Your dad was a wonderful role model. Do the next thing" Keeping afloat and sheer determination will get you through with and prayer.
    315 days ago
  • KITTYHAWK1949
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    316 days ago
  • ROCKPORT9
    Prayers and hugs emoticon
    316 days ago
  • DETERMINED369
    I am praying for you! Keep the faith! I love your dad's solution...one step in front of the other. Take care.
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    316 days ago
  • NANCYPAT1
    Prayers for you to find ways to deal with whatever challenges are ahead! Your father's advice is good and when you focus on the future instead of worrying about what might never happen, you avoid losing the joy of what you still have!
    316 days ago
  • TWIGBISKIT5
    Do sorry for your hard challenges 😞. My mom has macular degeneration in her eyes and has to have shots in them every 2-3 months. It's quite a challenge for her to. Prayers for you and your family 🙏. Blessings to you all.
    316 days ago
  • SNUZYQ2
    I was so sorry to learn about your struggles. Like your Dad, I find it best to just focus on today and leave all the tomorrows to Jesus. I love that you're seeking a way to go on with your life and make it the best that you possibly can. And I'm so thankful for prayer. That's the main thing. Jesus never forsakes, He never is gone. We can count on His presence in darkness and dawn. He is with us always...even unto the end of the world. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    316 days ago
  • LOF7203
    I'm sorry to hear that
    316 days ago
  • PREMAMEHROTRA
    My prayers are with you as you go through this very challenging period in your life. God Bless....
    316 days ago
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