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Wednesday, November 20, 2019

I have lost a lot of weight in the past month. 9 lbs to be exact. I know it is not good to lose weight too fast, but this loss has not really been deliberate (although it is certainly welcome!). I have had NO appetite, and when I do eat, the food sticks in my throat and I have to struggle to choke it down. I have no appetite at all. I know that this is due to depression. Bad stuff is happening in my life. And things are not likely to get better. Yesterday on my regular blog ( cynthialottvogel
)(non-Spark People) I discussed this somewhat And I talked about the thoughts I've been having about God and suffering. God brought me some comfort yesterday while writing.

I'm not worried about my lack of appetite. It will return--it always does, doesn't it?

Traditionally, when I am depressed or distraught, my appetite leaves. My heart goes out to all of you whose appetites rage when you are upset. I have eaten like that at times also. I have also (historically over 30 years ago) struggled with self harm and I know that eating like that is as much an effort to harm and punish oneself or to express despair as cutting or harming yourself in other physical ways.

My circumstances and health are not likely to improve--although my God does miracles, so I can't rule out that possibility. The thing that is so wonderful is that no matter what direction things go in my life, I am assured that HE will go there next to me and before me and behind me. Nothing is out of his control although it certainly is out of mine. God is not dismayed. He is not threatened, he is not powerless, he is not absent. He is not scratching his head wondering what to do next. He is not punishing me. Although when bad things happen, the enemy wants to plant those thoughts in our head, doesn't he? And he wants to turn every nay into yay, and all yays into nays. He turns reality on its head and convinces us of those lies. You have to be smart and alert to the games he plays in our brains and not to fall for his lies.

How can we do that? Keep communication lines open with God. Pray. Pour out your heart to God, tell him of every one of your fears and pains. Tell him of your despair. And then get into the Word (the Bible). If you find that daunting, I would recommend purchasing an NLT (New Living Translation) which is not only accurate but it is easy to comprehend. Read up on God's promises. Read about those who have suffered greatly. Joseph. Job, Jeremiah. Paul. Take note of their responses to God and his responses to them.

Sometimes I feel like I'm hanging onto sanity and to life itself, by my fingernails. And when I cry out to God, he answers. He comforts me in prayer and in reading his Word. He whispers to me that he loves me...even when it seems like no one on earth loves me. And day by day, he keeps me getting out of bed to face my day. He gives strength in one minute increments. So thoughts of tomorrow are overwhelming and frightening But all I need really, is the strength to get through the moment I'm in. And he always gives it to me.

So the weight loss may not last for another day. And I have to be prepared for that and I need to find out ways to keep that from happening and to maintain the lower weight that I have right now. God has promised to make a way out of the temptations I face and that includes the temptation to over eat. I need to find my way out. For example, right now my husband has all kinds of yummy ice cream treats in the freezer.What is my way out? A bowl of low- cal, high fiber cereal. For you it might be to take a walk or to dump the whole lot of tempting food right into the garbage can. (I do not recommend doing this to hubby's food stashes!)

God bless your day today. And if you are so moved, speak to God about me and pray for me. And do not fail to pray for yourself..in the Lord's Prayer, Jesus says "lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil." Jesus said that we are to pray in a similar manner for ourselves. In your own words....pray that God will strengthen you to make good, healthy choices and to deliver you from temptation. If he is your Lord, he will hear your prayer and "make a way out of the temptation that you may be able to bear it" (1 Cor 10:13)

God bless your day and your choices today.
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