11/21/19: Day 1 - Getting It Together
Friday, November 22, 2019
Today's Weight: 189 lbs
I've been at this more times than I can count, and for some reason this time has been harder than all the others. I lost a bunch of weight a few years ago, then got pregnant and had a baby, and I just assumed I'd get right back to good habits once the baby came. Reality ended up biting me in the butt. It was really difficult to find time to exercise - baby would cry if I put her down for too long, I love to run but baby was too little for the jogging stroller, if I had some free time I needed sleep rather than exercise - all things that were true, but were nevertheless excuses. I could have found ways to make it work if I really wanted to. Then there was food. I would eat whatever was quick and easy. It was really hard to cook when I couldn't put baby down, because she'd only nap on me I'd spend hours stuck on the couch and then be really hungry once she woke up and eat whatever I could find. I started eating in the middle of the night once baby finally fell asleep because that was the only time I got "me time" and eating something sweet or comforting felt like a luxury. That's a terrible habit that had become the hardest to break.
Once baby was 9 months old I felt comfortable jogging with her and she has been my running buddy ever since. She's now 18 months old, and this fall I trained for and ran my first half- marathon! It was amazing! But really poor eating habits have continued and I am back to almost the heaviest I've ever been. Every time I try to start up some good habits I feel as though life keeps getting in the way. It's been my goal to get up earlier (I already have to get up at 5am) and do some meditation or yoga and get an unhurried start to the day, but I'm usually too exhausted. However, this morning was different.
Or school has made a mindfulness room for the teachers to use throughout the day to relax and recharge and this morning I finally had the opportunity to check it out. I got to school early because my daughter was asleep when I left, I didn't have to be in this morning's conference - the stars aligned. The half hour I spent in there doing meditation and yoga were the best 30 minutes I've had in a long time. It was the first time I had truly taken care of me since my daughter was born. I felt refreshed, at peace, and like nothing could ruin a day that started so wonderfully. And nothing did! I ate well, I exercised when I got home, and for the first time since my daughter was born I didn't find myself bingeing on cookies, or cake, or any other unhealthy food late at night after she fell asleep. I know it's too much to hope that every morning or day will be this perfect, but I feel like I've finally got it together and am ready to take my life back. I'm finally ready to do this.