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The Golden Birthday, A Fresh Start

Saturday, November 30, 2019

Thanksgiving marked my "golden birthday." I'm twenty-eight now and as I sit here procrastinating on pulling all the Christmas decorations out of the garage, I can't seem to figure out what I want to do with myself over this next year. I haven't been able to figure out what my next adventure is or what my next goal is and frankly, I'm a little worried. Am I about to have a midlife crisis?

The only thing I do know is that I'm sick and tired of being out of shape? In January 2010 I was down to 140 pounds. By 2015 I had ballooned back up to my highest of 184. In 2016 I had (unsafely) dropped down to 140. At our wedding in 2017 I was 153. NYE 2018 I was 177. And now, sitting here two days after my twenty-eighth birthday, I am 163.6 pounds.

Weight has always been an issue for me. And clearly it's something I think about because ten years after the fact, I can recall to you how much I weighed in a specified month. I am an emotional eater, and I eat out of boredom, and if there isn't a huge incentive for me to *not* eat, then I will typically sabotage my weight loss goal unless I have other people around me who are losing weight, too. I'm a math person, so I understand that it takes a calorie deficit to create weight loss, but the emotional side takes over the logical side of me more often than not and I sit in the 160s weight-wise more often than not. I hate it.

My current tactic is to look at foods I want and calculate exactly how many steps it "costs" to eat. Something with 100kcal in it will take me 2,906 steps to burn off by walking. So then I ask myself, do I really want it? And if I do really want it, am I going to actually want it after I go walk those 2,906 steps *before* I eat it? Because that's the new plan. If I want a snack, I need to work for it first.

Hard work and finding new friends in the SP community to be encouraging and supportive with. That's where I think I'm most lacking right now: support and accountability. I just found some new spark groups and my goal is to start posting in them regularly, so hopefully I'll make some connections there. Fingers crossed.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Sweetheart, you are much too young to be going through a midlife crisis. I know this is not a laughing matter to you, but you need to figure out your trigger foods and eliminate them in the house. I see you recently got married, so any kids?
    I'm going to send you a personal note because it seems like you've had a lot of ups and downs in your life for someone so young. You are almost exactly the same age as my granddaughter, hers is Nov. 25. she is 28.
    252 days ago
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    292 days ago
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    293 days ago
  • RHOOK20047
    Welcome to SparkPeople. We are all here for the same reason, no matter what our personal story is. We are here to help each other to get to that healthy point we want to be in our lives. It is not going to be easy, but it is attainable. Make small goals and they will lead to big successes. You have to make you #1 and tell yourself that you are worth it. And remember you didn't gain the weight overnight and you won't lose it overnight. It takes time, determination, motivation and support. You can get it all right here! If you don't take care of yourself you can't take care of anyone else. If I can help in anyway, feel free to reach out to me! You can do it! We are here to help! Welcome and get active on this site. emoticon
    293 days ago
  • no profile photo GRAMPIAN
    Good luck with your plan. emoticon
    293 days ago
    Good Luck
    294 days ago
    Good luck on your weight loss journey. You have done it before and can do it again.
    294 days ago
  • RAVEN145
    Fingers crossed for you
    294 days ago
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