It has been ages since I posted a blog. This is partly because I haven't been able to get much time on my home computer and I won't use the work computer for it. I now have a spare (old computer that works for basic things) that is more easily accessible.
So, what have I been up to...
a) I have been participating in a challenge at work to walk the equivalent of Vermont's Long Trail (273 miles) over a 9 week period. People could sign up for one of five weekly goals and silly me signed up for the one that requires you to walk 30.3 miles per week. Well, with the exception of the first week, I have meet every week afterward and am now just over 50 miles from my goal. I've found that this requires that I spend at least an hour walking and doing other activities to meet my goal. My mother is amazed as to why I have not lost more weight...well, that is because I'm more than making up for the calorie expenditure in what I am eating...
b) I also went to Scotland with my Aunt Pat in late August this year. We had 12 glorious days tooling around Scotland and into northern England. I was the chauffeur for the entire trip and got more comfortable with driving on the opposite side of the road (in the opposite side of the car). To the point that I have (a couple of times) found myself perplexed when I turned onto a side street and had to remind myself which side of the road I am supposed to be on. It mostly only happens when I am turning left thankfully and hasn't happened too recently. Aside from the transportation part of the story, the scenery and history were spectacular. It was also a wonderful thing to spend time with one of my Aunts whom I had not had the opportunity it really connect with over the past many years. It turns out we have a lot in common. We had such a wonderful trip!
c) I signed up for another DietBet. I think I am glutton for punishment (and losing $50), but I want to try one more time to see if I can capitalize on what I have been doing with my StepBets which have been successful in getting my off my tuckus. It means that I am going to focus more on what I am eating to match up what I am doing with my exercise.
d) I've been trying to make it to the gym once a week. This is so I can use their weight equipment. I have been using our treadmill at home several times a week (if I am not walking in place while watching the Celtics play) just to get my steps in for the day. So, go me.
e) I've been getting outside for a walk typically once a week during my lunch break. I'm finding that more and more when I see a beautiful sunny day (even if it is only 25 degrees out) that I get an itch to get away from my desk. Not to mention that my tailbone/butt is getting to the point where it physically aches if I sit too long. Who would have thought???
f) I've re-read the book 'Half-Assed' by Jennette Fulda which I read once a few years ago. I really like her writing style and while I cannot relate to being 372 lbs, I can relate to being 295 at my highest weight. I too had the thought, 'why not make it an even 300 to make the math easier?' (You may realize that sometimes I am my own worst enemy based upon that statement alone.) I like that she made changes to her diet and lifestyle. I can relate to the fact that those changes weren't easy but she focused on it and didn't given up entirely when she fell off the wagon. I also relate to her goal and eventually realization that what is most important is to 'be happy' and the weight loss is incidental.
g) I've recently read the book 'Healthy as F*ck' by Oonagh Duncan. I bought it on a whim because I liked the title while on a bookstore run with my daughter. I really enjoyed the book and took lots of notes. Ultimately, what the author says makes so much sense. The ultimate goal is to just 'be happy' now. Do what makes you happy now. While you are doing that incorporate some key health habits that support your happiness so that they become automatic so you can use your limited number of 'f*cks' on things that you want to do.
h) I've also been working through some grief and depression due to a death in the family. My sister-in-law passed recently after a struggle with lung cancer. It turns out on the same day one year later as my dear Aunt Molly passed (also from lung cancer). They both left large holes in my life, and my family's life. I want to ensure that I can be as fit and brave as them as I continue this journey called 'life' for as long as I am able to play. That I can do things that I have dreamed of so that I can bring them along with me in spirit.
i) I'm working to find joy again in what I do, in how I spend my precious time on this earth, in what clothes I choose to wear and the food I choose to eat and how I choose to move my one miraculous body. In finding happiness where I am at right now, I am starting with my body. I am choosing to allow myself to love my love handles, to admire my varicose veins for continuing to get the blood where it needs to go (albeit maybe a bit more slowly), my saggy boobs because why not, my achy feet because they get me where I need to go, my pretty blue eyes which have always gotten me into trouble
, and every other thing (skin tags, sun spots, freckles, blemishes, fat rolls, and all). Why hate my body because of what it may look like now? As Cherie Carter-Scott writes in 'If Life is a Game, These are the Rules' (page 8):
"Rule One - you will receive a body...The body you are given will be yours for the duration of your time here. Love it or hate it, accept it or reject it, it is the only one you will receive in this lifetime. It will be with you from the moment you draw your first breath to the last beat of your heart. Since there is a no-refund, no-exchange policy on this body of yours, it is essential that you learn to transform your body from a mere vessel into a beloved partner and lifelong alley..."
I really needed to hear that as I have been frustrated with the state of my body. As my Dad would say 'light dawns on dunderhead' when I realized that I'm where I am at because of choices that I have made. I have accepted that I know more than what I knew when I made some of the choices and that I am doing better by myself, bit by bit, inch by inch, minute by minute, etc.
j) I am thankful for all of the people in my life. There are so many times when I have been on the brink of tears because there is such a weight I feel (literally and figuratively), so much that needs doing and I forget that I have supportive people all around me. I can forget this because I tend to not ask for help but hope that someone will see me struggling and offer it. I know that I can ask for help and I need to respect myself enough to do so when I am overwhelmed. It is okay to ask for help as well as give help in return. Life is a community and cooperative sport when it is at its best.
Thank you for listening.
Best wishes on your own journey and adventures.