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Sleep and Just Being Me!!

Sunday, December 15, 2019

I was so tired today!! I got up my usual early and got the kids up and started getting ready for church, but DH started to wake up so I wanted to cuddle with him for just a moment... and then we had 5 minutes to get ready to go. Which is easy for him, but I simply can't do! So I opted to sleepily stay home. I only heard the church up the road from our house warming up for worship this morning, I slept so soundly through their service! I did wake a lot, but would roll over and fall right back asleep. And around 3 I started nodding of agaian, so DH had me go nap, and I did, soundly, still waking but going back to sleep. I still have to eat dinner, but figure I'll just have some protein and that is it. It felt good to get that sleep and I'll be if I'm not ready to go to bed for the night already!!

So, I didn't get much done today, but you know what? After all the sleepless night, I think having a day like today is okay. Good, in fact. I needed, and still need that sleep. Hopefully this will rejuvenate me for tomorrow! And if I end up not sleeping as much because of it, well, I have a skirt to finish and a bow tie to learn how to do. Not to mention, a book that is, well, it's not boring, it's just instructional so not a page turner! That should help me get some more sleep!

These are the 'wood chips' that I burned. The designs are my kids, I also burned their names (in their handwriting) along with the year on the back. Today I get to try their round designs, snowmen and cups of hot cocoa and the like, with a different attachment to the burner. I hope it works, it is not as fine a tip. This and sewing will probably be what I spend my week doing. Well, and wrapping presents.

My husband is so wonderful. He sent this to me. He made me brownies (then got onto me for not working out afterwards, I had protein afterwards, so I should be fine). He remembered what time of year it was before I did and bought the boxes of brownies for just in case. I love that he does it, but I wish he wouldn't because I don't need brownies. I know it is one of the few ways he knows will 'comfort me', but it doesn't really. It was tasty, but there was no comfort there any more, I've learned better thanks to my therapist and SP.

This is what I've vowed to be. Unapologetically me. If I have to apologize for who I am to someone, maybe they aren't someone I need to be around. I'm done with that, I'm wanting to embrace me being who I am. Yes I have flaws, but my true friends accept me, warts and all.

I'm off for bed, melatonin works, if you know how to use it right!! Well, for me it works for a few hours, just like everything else, lol. I'm hoping as my circadian rhythm gets back on track it works better and better till I can reduce and eventually stop using it. But that will take time. I've had insomnia for at the very least two decades now.

Good Night and sweet dreams to you!

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