Monday, December 23, 2019
I'm still at Dad's. Yesterday ate pretty lightly. Cream of wheat for breakfast. Tuna sandwiches for lunch and salad for dinner. Because I had done some overnight eating the night before, i had less calories free than I would have liked.
Last night I did better. A protein drink (that i didn't have the day before) and some grapes were all I ate. I have no idea what we will be eating today. Maybe tuna sandwiches for lunch. Instant Cream of Wheat for breakfast. The frozen meals he has on hand are way too high in calories. He buys things like lasagna and Marie Calendar's meals which all taste good but would chew up most of the day's calorie allotment.
But that is all fluff.
What am I learning? What is hard? What is easy? What is meaningful?
I am thinking that I am focusing too much on food and not enough on life. My daughter and her new boyfriend were here on Saturday. We went out to eat and took pictures. They opened up their holiday gifts from us. We laughed and were goofy. (and NO! As funny as it was, i'm too vain to show you my absurd face my dad captured with his camera. LOL! I made them all swear to keep it off the internet. And of course my dad had to break his word and send it to his girlfriend!).
All I ate was a couple of cups of steamed vegetables and a little rice. And it was delicious. I confess that as I searched through the menu, other things were appealing...like the monster-sized hamburger my dad ate... But I was resolute and made a healthy choice and do you know? I did not feel deprived. I enjoyed what I ate and I enjoyed the fun of relationship. In fact, in the past two days, I have thought often about that plate of veggies and would like to go back to the diner and order some more!
Whatever you do this holiday, don't make food the focus. Focus on family--on friends and forget about the food. Determine in advance what you will eat and don't waste precious time obsessing about what you are eating or want to eat. If you are filled with love for people and joy from the holiday, it will not be so important to feel deprived of the caloric gustatory delights you have in front of you. If your mother in law made a carrot cake and would be hurt if you didn't try it, put loving people first and have a little. There will always be time to lose weight....but your family you will not have forever. I am speaking from sad experience. My mom is gone. And I would give anything to have some of her lasagna and give her gifts. i wish I had one more chance to hug her hard and tell her I love her.
Have yourself a merry little Christmas full of joy and Love.