Wow - well there's that!
Thursday, December 26, 2019
Well good morning blog - it's been a while (since a real blog) and it's nice to be back!
I've stayed away on purpose and, for that time, it felt good to be away...until it didn't.
I have learned a lot in life but there's so many lessons I keep learning...sometimes in the most strange places - like here...
Here on Sparkpeople - I've learned a lot here over the years, mostly about food, exercise, mindsets, etc. - great things...lately I learned more that can only be considered secondary lessons but great to learn none the less!
What I will say is that I knew some of this information, I just learned a few more layers and didn't expect it to come from here...
Be aware and be careful of what you want in your life - know your boundaries and how to spot when something or someone infringes on those boundaries. Feel secure in acknowledging those boundaries, feel even better knowing that if someone(s) aren't ok with you defining and protecting your boundaries they are welcome to walk away and you are welcome to let (or encourage them) to walk away.
How did I learn that here? Well, quite simply, a beloved member showed up, with the best of intentions I'm sure, and was great being a friend and bouncing things off of each other - until they started that fun game of "there's someone out there for you - like me" and the "one day you'll trust again and see someone in front of you" ... those are flags that someone has seriously misunderstood my friendship and statement of what my life looks like. I love my life and I actually really enjoy not being attached to someone but I do respectfully understand that others are not that way and it doesn't make sense to others. I am very intentional with how I use words when I have conversations with others who see things differently than I do as I do not want them to feel disrespected or attacked because I am not doing either of those things. This world revolves around people being different and living differently - and I would never want to change that as that is how we learn and grow.
In order to not offend, I kept things very conversational as always and simply stated what I did above, I like being alone and that I do open myself up to others at times, I just don't need someone to 'fix' or 'complete' me. I then went on with normal conversation like we had always had. I didn't hear back from them so I'd check in once a week or so for a bit then I let it fall off. I wasn't worried about the persons well being as I could see they were active and normal on the community sights - I just let it roll away...or so I thought.
Here's another thing about me, I don't like drama - like at all - not even in my tv shows or movies - with the exception of Sugar Rush and The Great Brittish Bake Off - that's as much drama as I can take! Because of that, I decided to just stay away because I did not want to deal with any drama that MAY happen...dumb move on my part. I don't let others potential actions stop me normally, I just didn't want to put forth the effort of dealing with that for a while - that was all my decision, and it's also my decision to move forward from that - and now I have.
It's not about the other person - this is about my choices for my life. All of these decisions were mine and so is the one to be active here again. As for me, it's not up to me to decide how people see, it's up to me to be me and have true and honest discussions when I see that my words or actions have not shown who I really am or how I feel and then move forward - if that person chooses to accept that or not, again, is not up to me. Do your honest best to be yourself, and if someone is upset or offended by that then you are totally ok to help them understand - if they don't like it or chose not to see you for who you are, then it is more than ok to ask them to leave or let them leave - not because they are 'wrong' or 'bad' but because it's not healthy for either of you.
Please - live your life with intention, love who you are (no matter where you are in any part of any journey), know it's ok to not get along with or want everyone you meet in your life, and live squarely in the boundaries you set (and reset) for yourself. LIVE life - your life. Make it amazing the way you want with the folks in it that bring you joy and wish the rest well in their endeavors...after all, you are giving them a gift of letting them be true to them and live their best life as well.
I hope you all have the most amazing day, or if it's not a great day, I hope that you find some pieces of joy here and there! Many blessings to you!