Night Time Eating Disorder
Tuesday, December 31, 2019
I have struggled with Night time Eating Disorder decades before people knew it was a "thing." It started before I was a teen...I would go and raid the kitchen, really not fully awake--and would leave a mess which is what blew my cover! When i was 16 and began to struggle with anorexia, even despite my horror of calories and food, I still would have some ice cream or a granola bar...in very small amounts so that did not lead to my gaining any weight but it DID feel me with a sense of being out of control and I swam through oceans of self-hatred for giving in to the siren call of food.
Now I do not keep cookies or ice cream in the house...because i have finally learned the lesson that "if it is here; I will eat it"... So now, even though i eat more healthfully, i am finding it hard sometimes to keep honest food tracking records....partly because I don't often recall what I ate and it is just so discouraging to have to enter 300-400 calories right off the bat in a new day. I always enter the day with the rotting corpse of that albatross around my neck. Sometimes the amount is just so high that I know I will give in to uncontrolled eating if I have to include that in the tracker.
Yesterday I ate 340 calories of dark chocolate. And I thought, "There is no way I can make up that difference so I made a note of it in my "Daily Note" feature on the tracker. I tried to forgive myself as INDYGIRL always insists I do and move on with a fresh start. As it turned out, at the day''s end I found i had almost 400 calories to spare so joyfully i DID track that chocolate and still came within my calorie range's lowest number.
But there are days like today when I've eaten over 400 calories and it really does cramp you the next day. I found that the only thing i can do at that point is to pre-plan and pre-track my eating for the next day. But sometimes a day of cottage cheese and sliced turkey just is hard to face.
So I confessed my problems with night eating to INDYGIRL and asked her advice. She said there is treatment available now, and she thinks, even a medication to help with it. She has trouble sleeping too, so just because you are up from 6-8 hours during the night, it is inevitable that you will become hungry,, even if you don't have NED. She said that what she does the evening before she goes to bed, she preloads a BentoBox (which is a Japanese version of a lunchbox....do a search on Amazon and you will find tons of them)...so she has laid out what she will eat that night. She only includes healthy foods and accounts for all the calories . I really need to buy new batteries for my eating scale as that will help greatly with this endeavor. I ordered my Bento box ( a BENTOGO FRESH) and am eagerly waiting for it to arrive. I will not be loading it with things like granola bars but rather with yogurt and muesli...apple slices (dipped in lemon juice to keep them from turning brown) and peanut butter...cold cuts, crackers and cheese. Baby carrots, celery and hummmus. You get the picture. This way the control is MY conscious control rather than impulsive grabbings at whatever looks good.
Any other night -eaters out there? what have you found that helps?