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Nothing to show for it

Monday, January 06, 2020

I joined SP in 2007 and have never been able to get more than half way to my goal weight. I asked my doctor(s) for help multiple times, I share with them my SP program, things I learned, things I am doing and they shrug their shoulders and say it sounds like I know what I'm talking about, but I must not be not trying hard enough. But the "harder" I tried the worse I felt...hungry, physically drained, worn out, mentally burnt out. In 2017 I found out I had thyroid cancer and may have had it for up to 10 years. I'm now in remission but nothing is easier. I exercise, lift weights, eat lower calories and my weight/body shape still doesn't change. I feel like I have nothing to show for the sacrifices and effort.

I'm resetting for the millionth time.

I have to keep working out so I can keep my back from hurting, so I can keep doing the hiking I love, and playing volleyball.



Clearing my Spark Page but still want to remember when I was seeing small changes so I'm putting the info here:

May 20th 2011: I jogged on the treadmill for ONE HOUR straight! (Not including my warm up or cool down.) Miracle! I was only going 4.2 - 4.3 mph to keep my HR in the 150's and to keep my knee from getting sore, but it's a great start! Now I get to work on my speed.

September 5th 2011: Went straight to the hardest hike of the season. Hiking Mt. Timpanogos, 14 miles, elevation 11,749 at summit with a gain 4370 ft. Honestly we didn't make it to the top. After 6 hours of hiking we were at 10,500 ft, it was late in the afternoon and were feeling the altitude and called it a day. Next time we will be more prepared. I walked about 12 miles, over 35,000 steps and burned over 5400 calories. One of the best hikes I've ever done, it was absolutely beautiful. (And extremely tiring!) It wasn't the successful hike I hoped for, if I had been training for it I would have done better. Now I have something to compare it to next time. :)

January 2012: Hubby and I are going to run a 5k in April. Running outside is a struggle for me because I have a hard time finding, and keeping, a pace that my heart and lungs can keep up with. I hope to get a hold of that while improving my time. Hoping I adapt quickly.

April 2012: The last month or so, my hubby has been my "kite" when we go for our 5k runs. His pace is slightly faster than mine, so seeing him run slightly ahead of me gently pulls me along mentally. I've broken my PR three times this month! My race is on the 28th. My goal was a 5k in 35 minutes and what-ever seconds. I should be able to beat that goal...and smash my original 5k time of 42 minutes.

August 2013: Hubby has been getting up at 5:15am and going to the gym with friends at work. I decided to start getting up with him and workout at home before the kids go to school. I am going to try to not focus on the numbers on the scale. Even when I'm at my goal weight (if I ever get there) I will still need to eat right and exercise. That is what my mind set should be no matter what my weight. I need to keep this in mind every day and not let the numbers on the scale or the number of days that have passed by discourage me. Eat right and exercise anyway!

First 5k: Jog/walked 42 minutes
Goal: Run my second 5k in April 2012 in 35 minutes.
(Training: January 5k time: 42:00 - March 5k time: 35:10)
April 28th 5k Race time: 32:49

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • DWROBERGE
    emoticon emoticon
    32 days ago
  • MAINSTREETGAL
    It is all a lesson...some easier than others. Hang tough! emoticon
    44 days ago
  • RHOOK20047
    I have been here on SP since 2009. This is a lifetime journey. You think you may not have made any progress but think of where you would be had you not been working on this all this time. I know I will be here the rest of my life, and I will keep working toward my goal. I know I can do it and I bet you can also! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    45 days ago
  • ACLOUDBERRY
    Keep up the positive spirits! We can't know how everything would be if we wouldn't have been exercising and living healthier lifestyle! You are amazing! Wish you all the best!
    45 days ago
  • DUGDIXIE1
    You may think you have nothing to show for it but you probably have better health and are able to do more. Don’t be so hard on yourself. These doctors sometimes have no idea what there talking about. They can’t give advice is they haven’t been there.
    46 days ago
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