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Thursday, January 30, 2020

Today is actually Day 2 so it might be a 2 for 1 deal today.

Yesterday was weigh day for me. The scale rewarded me for my hard work. Eating intuitively, following my fitness schedule, sticking to the No S guidelines.

On the one hand I was elated. On the other hand - something felt off. My monkey brain was chattering away for some reason. I was wondering if it was FEAR. I didn't want to pat myself on the back too much for the weight loss. It brought back memories of my golfing days when my DH would compliment me on a good shot only for my next one to be horrible! Don't test fate. What if I fail at this streak I have going emoticon I was feeling a lot of anxiety.

FEAR an acronym for False Expectations Appearing Real. SWEETENUFGILL shared this with us during a lesson from 100 DWL What if I fail? The point of the lesson reminds us that -

What you think -
Determines what you feel -
Determines what you do!

To put a lid on my monkey brain I put one foot in front of the other. I ate a healthy breakfast and then I headed out the door for a good workout at the Y.

My plan was to go grocery shopping in the afternoon, but you know what they say about the best laid plans! I have been fighting a UTI. I have a new physician. They would not call orders into the lab and pharmacy for me. I had to waste my time and insurance benefits going to an appointment. ERRRRR! I prayed all the way there that I would be calm, patient, and kind. It worked. 2 hours later I was back home, but my afternoon was shot.

My next step was a rest with a good book. As I'm writing this I'm wondering if I wasn't feeling a bit disappointed and depressed over my original plan being waylaid. Dinner was reasonable, but I had a piece of chocolate. On my way to a church meeting I stopped by the pharmacy and my prescription was only half filled. Our church has undergone a lot of upheaval in recent years and I felt that underlying "edge" in myself during the meeting; trying to find that happy medium between venting frustrations vs being constructive. There were cookies & water offered. I recognized a fleeting thought about not eating those cookies and then that thought flew out of the proverbial window! I grabbed 2 (for variety). Before the meeting was done I had grabbed a 3rd (another variety). I actually did stop myself from grabbing a 4th one on the way out the door.

When I got home I was mentally done in and tired. Maybe if I ate something I would wake up! Geez, Sue, how about just going to bed?! Nope. Microwave popcorn feel into my mouth.

I hate it when I do things like this, but I guess you can't win them all. I am determined to make today better!
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