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Saturday Randomness!!

Saturday, February 01, 2020

Been up for about an hour now (It's 0345 as I start this). Can't sleep, though my body desperatly wants to, my mind is a-buzz with things to do, ideas, you name it, it's probably gone through my mind this morning!! My psych doc told me to message him if I wanted to up one of my new meds to help me get more sleep, but all that will do is the same this does, make me near comatose and impossible to wake up for about 3-4 hours and then I'll wake up and I'll be groggy in body and awake in mind. I think the only reason it was working before was because I was sick and therefore my body let me go back to sleep after an hour or two of being awake. I was starting to get manic, and then I got sick and super sleepy, so I think getting sick squashed that. At least I hope it did. I stayed up later than normal doing my before bed routine the last few days, made for better sleep, but I'm still waking up at 0100. This morning I was able to go back to sleep for a short time, but I'm finding it is not good sleep. I got in bed yesterday, rolled over, and my 0400 alarm went off. It literally felt like it happened that fast. I know i had to have been asleep, but I didn't get any rest out of it.

Today I'm making a self care day! I'm still going to do the basics, and if I can get my body to wake up enough (using sun lamp and drinking coffee) then I'll go work out. To me, working out is a form of self care, a very important one. I'm not sure what all I'll do. I had not found my paint by numbers til recently and I opened the paints to try to do one this past week and had to throw them both out the paint had hardened and was beyond fixing. Very sad. I'll have to find another to paint and actually paint on it once or twice a week till I finish it. But, I'm going to take an epsom salt bath to try to releave the ache in my upper back. I'm going to crochet and/or watch a show. I'm going to repaint my nails. I'm going to get the kids to help more around the house, getting things done so I don't have to do it all myself. Today is planning day, so we will get that out of the way before lunch too.

So I found this beautiful 90 day tracker for up to 5 goals. I had to combine some goals but here they are:

emoticon Sewing: sew or watch an instructional video (or both) for at least 30 minutes a day
emoticon Exercise at least 1 hour every day (exception being Sunday as my rest day, but even then I'd like to get my yoga in, so an hour is good, once I get my yoga blocks and strap in)
emoticon Eat Keto every day, no cheat days!! I have to wait till payday to buy a few things, so my carbs are going to be a little higher (like sugar substitute for my coffee, but I reduced it to just one tsp)
emoticon Bible Study or reading every day
emoticon Cleaning: Daily cleaning plus declutter mission for the day, every day

Check mark for every day I get it, circle if I have a darn good reason why I didn't get to it (migraine, lots of doctor appointments in one day, that kind of thing), and an x for days I just didn't do it for no reason. For 100% I get a good reward, 75% a smaller reward, anything below 50% no reward (I've got an Amazon list to pick from). I'm having my kids do the same, but not 5 goals. I picked 2 goals for them (practice band instrument daily and brush teeth with me watching to verify they did it 2x daily - they thought that one was weird but they are the ones that have not been brushing their teeth!!} For them, a monetary reward was a better option. So: 100% = $30, 75% = $22.50, 50% = $15, and anything below 50% is nothing. They are allowed to pick up to three more goals and have till tonight to pick them, but I have to approve them. They can't be silly, or too easy, or 'dumb'. It has to be a real goal to strive towards doing. DD11 (soon to be 12!!) picked writing at least two paragraphs each day at home. DD13 picked working on learning code on a program on her computer for at least 15 minutes a day. I like these goals.

The tracker starts on a Sunday, so we will start this Sunday. We are going to Grandma's for DD11's birthday, so those days will be excused for the kids. Most of my stuff, except cleaning I can still do, and I can help clean while I'm there, so even that I can do. Well, sewing I can't... Unless I turn my phone into a wireless hotspot, then I can watch videos of how to do things. Yes, I may be able to keep things up even when we go to Grandma's!! I almost called it a vacation, but that it most certainly will not be! I enjoy their company, they are great people, I love them to bits, but the drive, the stress of traffic, the cigarette smoke once we get there.... it is all just so stressful. And with my insomnia, I'm so used to being able to get u and get coffee and do my own thing, it is alway difficult to be stuck in a room when everyone else is asleep. At least this time I'll be able to go in the kitchen and set up a hotspot with my phone and get on my laptop!!

So, I'm in the dentist chair, I'm laid back, I've got two people's hands in my mouth. I've made it through the needles, the drilling the weird sensations, but toward the end, when the Dentist is saying they just need to polish up, my anxiety skyrockets. I've been fighting it this whole time, I took 1/2 an anxiety med before going in (because I wanted to be able to drive when I got done and if I take a whole one, it makes me too loopy to drive) but now I'm having a panic attack. I open my eyes because I'm getting dizzy. bad idea, you can imagine the view. I close them again and start tensing and relaxing my muscles, trying to get them to relax and to slow my breathing. Somehow I managed to make it through the rest of the procedure. I was freezing. The cold air and water spraying in and around my mouth is bitingly cold. The tech immediately starts talking to me enthusiastically about Keto (I had been reading Keto Clarity and told her about it, she is going to be starting Keto too!!) and this sweet lady through all of her talking that would normally make me more anxious, is so sweet she calmed me down. She found a rinse for dry mouth and is going to work with my doctor and my insurance to see if they can get it covered for me to fix my dry mouth problem that is causing the cavities. Such a sweet young lady!!

So today I'm going to keep my 'adulting' to a minimum. I'm going to meditate, read my Bible and work on my Proverbs 31 Bible study. I'm going to lay down with the heating pad on my upper back, it is really hurting. I'm going to color or use chalk pastels. I may sew, but that just depends on my mood later. I'm going to see how I feel about working out, It depends on how my tooth is doing, I may have to take another pain med, and if I do, no working out. I'm going to have the kids help out with the chores that need to be done so they will be done quicker and we can all get to relaxing and enjoying our day faster. We are going to have planning day and I'm going to work on my Goal Planner and Living Well Planner for February. I'm also going to do research on Keto and keep reading my book, Keto Clarity, on it. I think I may go to the store to get the ingredients for making almond butter fat bombs and almond butter protein balls.

This is the book I'm reading, along with the cook book that goes with it. It is full of amazing ideas. And I have to say I'd be lost without my Keto teams!! I now know what the best sugar subs are and am going to look into getting one of them asap. I know where to find some that can be used for baking and which ones are best used in Keto ice creams and sauces. I am simply loving my Keto Spark teams!! emoticon emoticon

KETO: Part of today will be spent reading more of that book and chatting on those teams, I LOVE how active the teams are!! I actually have a composition notebook that i'm taking notes in and a folder for printing things out tlike recipes and the like. I have a Pinterest board for people to follow and things to save and a book mark folder for my favorite recipes and sites that people have been sharing with me. I'm so lucky to have found these themes!!

Okay, I've rambled enough, LOL, If you stuck with me this long, thank you so much!! emoticon

Hope you have a great Weekend!!

~ Flea

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