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Thursday, February 06, 2020

In January I began using a planner to track different goals, like trying to use up processed fake meats that I can't give away and don't want to waste money by throwing away and using up convenience foods like bagged frozen fries - things that I can make myself but also keep on hand. I did a great job of getting through some of it, and most importantly, not replacing it. I was doing a good job eating less processed foods and doing more cooking, and eating salads. Then I got sick and it knocked me on my @$$ bigtime. The thought of eating salad made my stomach do somersaults and all I wanted was carbs, carbs, and carbs.

I FINALLY feel better. I feel like I can eat whatever I want without a stomach issue and can get back on track. So today I hopped over to the grocery store and loaded up on the goods to make my favorite minestrone soup and salads. I have my favorite stir fry veggies, some fruits, and my favorite frozen veggies that I like to keep on hand for quick throw togethers and variety to my meals.

I do still have some junk in my apartment, but I feel really good about the fact that I'm not binge eating it, I don't mindlessly grab for it, and I eat it in moderation with good, nutritious food. I'm also doing really well not going out to eat. I saved a lot of money by avoiding going out to eat as often as I was. I find that my brain still THINKS about it though, out of habit. For example, when I was leaving the grocery store I passed a 5 Guys and thought "I could get a veggie sandwich and fries for lunch, that would be yummy" but then I immediately thought, "I already have lunch planned at home and if I get that I won't be able to eat dinner and I really want to eat those leftovers tonight, just stick with your plan, you got this" and it was so easy to listen to that voice. It used to be so hard, and I would cave in, and then scarf the food and not enjoy it and then not feel good - physically and mentally. But it's becoming a lot easier to stick to healthier stuff because my brain has shifted from "you can't eat that, you need to eat healthy" to "you shouldn't eat that, you want to eat healthy."

I started reading Fuhrman's "The End of Dieting" last night. Some of the information was repeat from "Eat to Live" but newer, stated differently, and shorter. I loved Eat to Live but The End of Dieting is really giving me that push I needed, and helping me to better understand how I've been hurting my body.

I have so much work to do, but I feel a lot more encouraged today, and ready to start my goals.
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