Day 15: no sugary snacks (Half way!)
Tuesday, February 18, 2020
It was a nice day. I did a little bit of gardening. It is the first time I have lived in a home with a garden my entire adult life, so I thought I would try and plant some bulbs. Who knew our garden had so many worms, is all I can say about the experience of playing with soil! After handing me two bulbs, my son went off to play with his toys, so it wasn't the mother-son learning experience I was hoping for, but at least we were all outside on this rather cloudy day.
Eating got very difficult around the evening. My son came out in a rash while he was in the bath, and I went into a bit of a panic, worrying we might find ourselves at the hospital. NHS make parents very aware of meningitis, so my mind immediately went there, but NHS also have a great phone-line and his symptoms weren't all in line with the illness. He had been in a great mood the whole day, hardly showing signs of any illness. I had thought he had recovered. That was probably why I got such a shock. Still, the desire to have a bit of chocolate was strong! I managed to avoid it, though.
I had no sugary snacks at all today. After the feeling of stress from my panic over my son, I realised it was better not to, as it was hard to remove the emotions from the desire to eat. I'm proud of myself for that. I'm proud of myself for persisting through to 15 days on what is my weakest aspect of my diet.
My weight is back to where it was. I realised that I'm pre-menstrual, which explains the slight jump up in weight, and maybe even the stronger chocolate cravings. I looked at some older photos of myself on spark people and there is one of me at 57.5kg where I look so happy with myself - because this was when the scale was going down. It was a great pic to look at because it reminded me where I've come from. I looked so happy with what I had achieved. Now, that weight raises huge alarm bells of weight gain for me and does not bring me the same joy, but it reminded me how important perspective is and the state of mind is. I weight 56.3kg this morning (I blog the morning after the day) and since starting this challenge my weight has stopped jumping up and down with such extremity, so I'm doing just fine. I've come a long way and I haven't yet given up on this journey.
Which brings me to my last thought about weight-loss. Quite a few of the youtube videos I have been watching are anti-calorie counting, and, as that is what worked for me, I have found the advice hard to hear. But, I think perhaps what they are trying to emphasise is that losing weight is about permanent lifestyle changes. Not temporary dietary restrictions. Calorie counting through spark people was the best route towards lifestyle change for me. It led to a number of better choices regarding the way that I lived my life. And, apart from my chocolate cravings, did enable healthier choices when it came to the quantity of food I was eating. Chocolate was the one thing I kept including in my diet. And, I think I had the balance alright until the beginning of last year. What has happened, is that, I now have to address not only the quantity of food I eat, but what I am eating. Even this 30 day challenge - it's not just 30 days and then back to eating three sugary snacks a day for me. It's 30 days, and then one lovely delicious dark piece of chocolate in the evening. That's it. It is a way of kick-starting a better habit. And, possibly, starting to focus on another habit (Although I don't think I'll blog about it every day, as that in itself is an extra discipline). So, my unqualified two cents worth, is that whatever route your choose, it is about awareness of what one is eating, and learning to manage that in a healthy manner, and in a way that can continue for a long, long time.