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Carrying the "weight"

Friday, February 21, 2020

I've been doing a lot of thinking for most of my life.
There is one main thing I think on daily and its childhood.

I did not have a bad one, it was average. I was the typical daddys girl.
I was over weight, for all of my childhood.

I had no idea that the "weight" I was carrying as a child was going to follow me into my adult years and I don't mean physically here.

My mother hated the fact that I was not thin and beautiful. She expressed this so much that even other family members such as my grand parents, brother, and cousins would pick and make fun of the way I looked.

She would walk around shopping malls and point out particular girls my age and ask why I couldn't look like that.

I know what your thinking, my mother must have been thin.. WRONGOOO she was far from thin.

Her behaviors became worse and worse, the body shaming became something I always knew was coming. I hid from bathing suits, I covered mirrors so I didnt have to see myself.

SHE RUINED MY CONFIDENCE. Just down right crushed me. The words that hurt me the most were YOUR SHAPED funny...

Time has passed, but just like everyday I think of those things... But ya know what I need to throw all that behind me.. ITs hard for me to do that.

I hear those words everyday, I call myself ugly and fat all the time. The damage is so real.

The only person who can fix it is me though. I need to lose this "weight" Ive been carrying around in my mind, and in my body.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo TUZZLES
    It made me sad to read this, but so proud of you that you recognize how those words have hurt you... you have the power to be all that you want to be! Sounds like you are on the right path, recognizing that both mind and body need a spark!
    48 days ago
    Thank you for your kind words. Challenging is indeed a good word for it. I'm thankful to have found an outlet like spark people! My body is not the real me, thank you for those words!
    48 days ago
    This is a real challenge, but find something you like about yourself and praise yourself daily. Your body is not the real you. Please find the way to Spark and live taking 10 minutes each day for you.
    48 days ago
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