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what are you carrying?

Monday, February 24, 2020

What are you carrying that you can let go of? Today, I panicked because in the lighting in my living room, my face was darker than my neck. This is a cardinal rule, a makeup no-no. My husband told me I’m beautiful and I look fine and he thinks it’s just the lighting making it weird. But, doesn’t he know women will secretly make fun of me if it doesn’t match?! To which he so casually replied, so what? So what! But, I just told you someone may think something bad about me. And he said, it doesn’t matter what they think: it matters what I think and what you think. Oof. I carry with me, a lot of “anticipated” negative thoughts. Someone will tease me for my big hair clips, my too-dark foundation, my blue eyeliner, my big butt in those pants, the way I laugh, how I like cheesy jokes, the weight I’ve gained, the clothes I like and wear - I worry about it all! Why? That isn’t mine to carry. My job in life is to be happy and a good person. What are you carrying that you can get go of?
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • BEATLETOT
    Oh, my goodness, you just brought back a memory for me. When I was in college, I had a crazy roommate my freshman year. She was horrible. We had it out a couple times, and the last time we got into it, she said to me, "No one at the smokers' table likes you" (I smoked until about seven years ago). And I said, "Okay." And she said, "They don't like you!" I said, "I heard you the first time. So what?" "None of them like you!" And I said, "I don't understand what you want me to say. I'm not going to NOT smoke out there." I didn't realize until years later, that that was what would hurt her the most, to know that someone who was nice-ish to her face didn't like her. And I didn't understand why she kept repeating it. It was like we were on two different planets.

    It was a really weird situation, but I like that it showed me, albeit late, that I really don't care what anybody thinks, so long as I'm wearing a bra.
    101 days ago
  • MARYPHONE
    frustration from drama...thanks for the thoughts!
    102 days ago
  • LIZZIE138
    Carrying the need to put everyone else’s needs above my own. Working hard on it.
    102 days ago
  • no profile photo INCH_BY_INCH
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    102 days ago
  • LISAMARIE2015
    If people male fun of you for that, they aren’t your friends and shouldn’t be in your living room - kick them to the curb 🤣 easier said than done, I know!
    102 days ago
  • FIT4LIFEANNE
    Got a few weeks?!?!
    103 days ago
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