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Day 21 and 22

Monday, February 24, 2020

Usually I write about the day the morning after. I have not yet had a chance to write about yesterday and it is almost 9pm, so I've just decided to roll these two days together.

Yesterday was good, sugar-wise. I was able to say no to dessert whilst out for lunch because I'd planned for dessert that evening. Then, even though there were chocolates after dinner, I was able to say no again, largely due to thinking about how bad too much sugar is for me - so, knowledge can be golden.

Today has been very very hard. To celebrate 21 days I went and bought some indoor house plants - in an attempt to bring some life into the house. That was good. It came to a bit more money than I thought it would, as I needed to buy pots also - but I hope it will add to a positive feeling in the house. It certainly feels nice to look up from my computer and see a pot-plant on my bookshelf rather than stacks of paper! And it was nice to look at another plant in the kitchen as I was cleaning up. As I was working out where to put the plants, I realised how our living room is really a glorified playroom - because as I was thinking about decorating I saw how there was no where in the room where the plant fitted! It was an interesting realisation.

I was exhausted today. I have not been sleeping well and it showed today. And I ended up eating a hot-cross bun for lunch. Then later in the evening when my family suggested take-away, I just gave in. So, I'm not proud of myself for that. Have I had chocolate? No. No sugary snacks, but if ever there was a day when I really wanted them, it was today. I guess I'm just not proud of my food choices, and I made them because I was so tired, and I don't really understand why I am so tired when I had quite a bit of time alone. I think it feels a little bit like two steps forward and three steps back: in spite of investing in my emotional health this weekend and today, I still was not as emotionally healthy as I wanted to be, and that is frustrating.
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  • no profile photo INCH_BY_INCH
    emoticon emoticon
    137 days ago
  • JEANKNEE
    It sounds like the realizations keep on coming. That's a good thing!

    Love that you've added some life to the house with plants.

    Your thoughts regarding the fatigue despite taking time for yourself reminds me of past experiences of my own. I often don't realize how tired I am until I stop. Still surprises me sometimes.
    138 days ago
  • no profile photo GOFORGIN
    Ok
    138 days ago
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