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It's done

Friday, February 28, 2020

Wow, what a month! Good, bad, exciting, fun and well, life.

Weight I'm up 4 pounds.

A week at Disneyland with my daughter and granddaughters and I'd love to blame that but I've been too many times that I don't overeat there anymore. The annual trip was so much fun, it always is. This year we woke the twins up the morning of the trip and asked them if they wanted to go to Disneyland. Amazing how fast 4 year olds will get up when they are told that.

They twirled with Cinderella, nuff said.

After the trip the problems began. While I started doing some mini runs the mass is my neck was getting bigger and bigger. Even doing a 2K run became incredibly difficult. I'd feel great that I got it done but I'd be exhausted and trying desperately to fill my lungs. I was determined to exercise every day the two weeks leading up to my surgery. I succeeded at that.

I have also met my step goal for 40 days in a row, a new record for me. Yup, proud of that.

Problem was while I was doing all these great things fear started to creep in about the surgery and I started to binge. I am not beating myself up about this. I spent three years fighting with doctors that there was something wrong with me, that I couldn't breathe properly. Three years of being told that it was menopause, panic attacks, thyroid out of whack. I was old, I was fat. I was accused of looking for drugs. Not sure what drugs they thought I was after. So yes, fear crept in, I was about to have my throat cut open.

In the end the mass had ended up growing substantially since the last scan and I look like Frankenstein's monster. But I can breathe! I can swallow food without having to take a drink after! Did I mention I can breath? I can take a deep breath and fill my lungs! I'm not dizzy after walking because oh ya, I can fill my lungs.

Today I went for a walk along the lake, I have been told to wait until next week before I start running again. It was so easy! I didn't feel tired, I didn't want to turn around.

My mind is so much clearer now that the fear is gone. I'm not excited that I have to re-lose four pounds but I do and there's nothing I can do to change that except get it done.

Three years I fought to get my life back. To be heard. I feel like I just got a new lease on life and I want to get back into long runs again. I can't wait till next week to hit the trails and start rebuilding a healthy me.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I'm glad you were finally heard and the problem is repaired. emoticon
    79 days ago
    Glad to hear you are on the mend and can get running again soon.
    87 days ago
    Lovely pics!! I'm sorry it was such a long battle, but it's great you got the help you needed at last.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    88 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/1/2020 11:47:30 AM
    This is a tremendous win for you. Forget the gain - it is just a step on the path to wellness. Glad you are doing so much better.
    88 days ago
    What a relief that your surgery is over and went so well. You'll be back running in no time.
    89 days ago
    I am glad that your surgery was successful. And that the doctors finally listened; it is negligence that they did not pay attention to your concerns earlier. What a relief that your breathing is easier!

    The twins are absolutely adorable. I am glad you had a good time at Disneyland.
    90 days ago
  • MRSE1994
    So glad your surgery went well and you are on the mend. Your granddaughters are beautiful.
    90 days ago
    Glad you had such a good time @ Disneyland. The angels look absolutely adorable!

    Happy to hear that the results of the surgery helped you so much. Isn't it maddening when the Dr. doesn't listen to you! GAH! Glad you're thru the surgery.

    90 days ago
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