Thursday, March 05, 2020
Have a glass of water and a giggle on me!
Trees Get Fresh
The Highway Patrol car pulls over a bus on a lonely back road and approaches the driver. 'Sir, is there a reason you're weaving all over the road?'
The driver replies, 'Oh officer, thank goodness you're here! I almost had an accident. I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me.'
Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror, the officer says, 'Sir, that's your air freshener.'
Rope A Dope?
Two ropes walk into a bar. The bartender says to the rope, 'Hey! We don't serve ropes in here.' So one of the ropes left.
The other rope frayed up his hair and tied himself in a knot.
The bartender said to the rope, 'Are you a rope?' and the rope said, 'I'm afraid not'.
One day, Dave, the bus driver, was in his bus when the biggest man he had ever seen got on. The giant looked at the driver and growled, 'Big Eric doesn't pay', and took his seat. Dave was only a little man and he didn't really want to argue.
This happened for several days. After a week, Dave was beginning to get a little angry. Everybody else paid, so why not the big man?
So Dave went to the gym and started a course of body-building. He didn't want to be frightened of Big Eric any longer.
Eight weeks later the driver had strong muscles and was feeling very fit.
At the usual stop, Big Eric got on. 'Big Eric doesn't pay' , he barked; but this time Dave was prepared for him. He stood up, shaking slightly, and said between clenched teeth, 'Oh, yeah? And why doesn't Big Eric pay?'
'Because Big Eric has got a bus pass', the man replied.