Well its been a rough couple weeks!
Monday, March 09, 2020
Life as I know it changed again, things started changing February 12, I broke my run, I did make it 60 days,which was amazing!. Now I have no regrets about not posting or signing in, I did on a few days but my mind was not in it. I was busy taking care of my mother. She had a stroke and it was a journey I will not forget and I am so glad I got to go on this journey with her part of the way . I have been angry, sad, helpless, and so many more emotions. Well my Beautiful Moms journey ended on February 27, 2020 at 7:49 am. It was a beautiful sunny day, and as she took her last breath, the birds and the squirrels outside gathered around the window. She loved watch them outside the window. It was like they came to tell her bye. Her lasts days was hard on her, but in the end she went peacefully. I stayed by her side when she left the rehab/ nursing home. That place was not so good for her, I arrived on the on a monday morning to find her not so well, they really did not have the staff to take care of her or anyone else for that matter. As a family we stayed with her from 8-to 8 everyday for less than two weeks. She got the flu while she was there. First I was so angry for this neglect of one of the staff members that came to work sick. I was in the room with her that day when the nurse said she was sick , no mask on.To late after we mentioned it. We did learn that my mom had cancer stag 4 also at that time. I had been praying that my mom would not suffer with all that was going on with her. I really did get my pray. I believe the nurse with the flu was a way my mom would not suffer with the flu. I called the ambulance to pick her up from the nursing home and take her back to the hospital . They said that she was in dehydrated and her kidneys had shut down. They also said she had the flu and the outcome was not good. She had to stay at the hospital until hospice could get things set up at her home. I stayed in her room with her for the two days, never leaving her side. Family brought food for me to eat and clean clothes. We all had to wear mask and gloves while in the room. Not a good thing to forget when your are trying to eat. Many a mask was destroyed . She was only home a day until she passed. I have only been back to the house once and that was hard. I can see my moms grave from her house . My dad said that is how they picked their spots out. Its real close to the duck pond . I love that grave yard its more like a park . I know My beautiful mom would want me to get back on track. I did not do bad on food for the most part. I did do my bike under my desk when I ate breakfast , not sure if that really counts lol. I did lose 1.6 pounds , so I will take it. Not where I was hoping to be but good , it could of been really bad. So I am back and working on my journey , just had to take a side road for awhile . I feel blessed that I could be with my mom on her end journey of this life time. Until we meet again my beautiful mom, Thank you for been my mom you were the best , would do anything for your children and grand children. May you rest in peace you deserve it. You worked so hard not its time to rest. Love you forever and always. will miss you so much!