So....yesterday was a hard day in a series of hard days these last eight months since I've lost my sweet husband. Yesterday was his birthday...his 73rd here on earth but his first heavenly one. I was so SO sad. We always made a big deal of each other's birthday so it was a very hollow day for me. I had planned a secret birthday party many, many months ago for a trip down to Key West with some friends. We were going to take the big boat down there and then just chill and see the sights. When he passed last June 27th I had to cancel the trip a few weeks later. At the time it just all seemed so surreal. Yesterday it really occurred to me that he won't be celebrating any more earth plane birthdays and I was just so broken.
They say that the first anything after you lose someone is the worst and then things seem to get easier. I'm not so sure I agree with that but I have no other choice than to try and move on.
I was so happy and blessed that one of my dear neighborhood friends knew what a hard day it would be for me so she picked me up bright and early and we went to the beautiful beach and walked it. I picked up a few shells and enjoyed the soft breezy air. I could definitely feel Don with me as we used to love to walk the beach and I always picked up shells. He'd laugh and ask if we were there to get some exercise or to add to my extensive shell collection.
I'd say BOTH! After we left the beach we went to a favorite restaurant and had a lovely breakfast. I was so happy his birthday fell on a Monday this year so that I had the day off at work.
In the late afternoon, a bunch of my grief group friends made sure to take me out to a light dinner at a wonderful Greek restaurant called Zorbas. I had a lovely time with them and I took a picture of Don and lit a little candle and we all toasted him with a birthday wish of happiness in his new role as a beautiful angel up in heaven.
We always had such fun together this beautiful husband of mine was the kindest, sweetest, most caring man I could have ever been lucky enough to spend 42 years of marriage with. We worked together as self-employed business partners for 30 years so I lost a husband and a business partner all in one fell swoop. It just seems so unfair to me but I know so many people suffer the same loss that I have and my heart goes out to them.
I keep hoping and hoping that things will get easier for me and I'll find my feet in this strange new world I'm navigating in but most days I truly feel like I'm just going through the motions.
I made it through another milestone event in my life. Now to get through St. Paddy's day and then Easter.
I was supposed to go to the grief group this morning but I just didn't have the desire. I texted my friends and said I wouldn't be there. I took today off instead of opening up the gallery at 12:30 as I always do. I guess I'm still processing yesterday's sadness.
I did get lots of bookwork done for the gallery. Tomorrow it will be back to chippin' rock again.
I've noticed since this Coronavirus scare that customers aren't packing in like they used to. I think everyone is on edge and avoiding public situations. I know it will have a huge effect on our economy...Florida is a service company oriented state. Without the economic boost that shoppers give our state every year, it's going to be rough.
I'm just trying to take my life one day at a time and I'm praying for the best. It's all we really can do, isn't it?
Stay safe out there my dear friends....and know that I appreciate each and every single one of you!