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Honoring my wonderful hub's birthday up in heaven

Tuesday, March 10, 2020

So....yesterday was a hard day in a series of hard days these last eight months since I've lost my sweet husband. Yesterday was his birthday...his 73rd here on earth but his first heavenly one. I was so SO sad. We always made a big deal of each other's birthday so it was a very hollow day for me. I had planned a secret birthday party many, many months ago for a trip down to Key West with some friends. We were going to take the big boat down there and then just chill and see the sights. When he passed last June 27th I had to cancel the trip a few weeks later. At the time it just all seemed so surreal. Yesterday it really occurred to me that he won't be celebrating any more earth plane birthdays and I was just so broken.

They say that the first anything after you lose someone is the worst and then things seem to get easier. I'm not so sure I agree with that but I have no other choice than to try and move on.

I was so happy and blessed that one of my dear neighborhood friends knew what a hard day it would be for me so she picked me up bright and early and we went to the beautiful beach and walked it. I picked up a few shells and enjoyed the soft breezy air. I could definitely feel Don with me as we used to love to walk the beach and I always picked up shells. He'd laugh and ask if we were there to get some exercise or to add to my extensive shell collection.

I'd say BOTH! After we left the beach we went to a favorite restaurant and had a lovely breakfast. I was so happy his birthday fell on a Monday this year so that I had the day off at work.

In the late afternoon, a bunch of my grief group friends made sure to take me out to a light dinner at a wonderful Greek restaurant called Zorbas. I had a lovely time with them and I took a picture of Don and lit a little candle and we all toasted him with a birthday wish of happiness in his new role as a beautiful angel up in heaven.

We always had such fun together this beautiful husband of mine was the kindest, sweetest, most caring man I could have ever been lucky enough to spend 42 years of marriage with. We worked together as self-employed business partners for 30 years so I lost a husband and a business partner all in one fell swoop. It just seems so unfair to me but I know so many people suffer the same loss that I have and my heart goes out to them. emoticon

I keep hoping and hoping that things will get easier for me and I'll find my feet in this strange new world I'm navigating in but most days I truly feel like I'm just going through the motions.

I made it through another milestone event in my life. Now to get through St. Paddy's day and then Easter.

I was supposed to go to the grief group this morning but I just didn't have the desire. I texted my friends and said I wouldn't be there. I took today off instead of opening up the gallery at 12:30 as I always do. I guess I'm still processing yesterday's sadness.

I did get lots of bookwork done for the gallery. Tomorrow it will be back to chippin' rock again.

I've noticed since this Coronavirus scare that customers aren't packing in like they used to. I think everyone is on edge and avoiding public situations. I know it will have a huge effect on our economy...Florida is a service company oriented state. Without the economic boost that shoppers give our state every year, it's going to be rough.

I'm just trying to take my life one day at a time and I'm praying for the best. It's all we really can do, isn't it?

Stay safe out there my dear friends....and know that I appreciate each and every single one of you! emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Happy Belated Birthday Don! Keep watching Bobbi and keeping her safe! emoticon emoticon
    46 days ago
    Bobbi, this blog brought tears to my eyes. I am so sorry for your loss. Don's birthday was clearly so hard for you. I'm moved to tears by you and your friends making a toast to his happiness in his new role as an angel in Heaven. Beautiful.
    73 days ago
    Sending lots of hugs and love Bobbie. The first birthday after is hard. I hope Don sent some signs to surround you.
    74 days ago
    My brothers fiance lost her ex husband to suicide she cleaned his home & took care of him at various times taking dinners to him he was wheel chair bound . He just could not face being in a wheell chair She found him with his head blown off. Then My brother got cancer & died,unknown to her she was having stomacch issues Doctor told her it was because she did not have enough fiber in her diet..So she ate more fiber,nothing changed she changed Docotrs she is a nurse & knew something was wrong she ended up with the very same cancer my brother had, then there were 3 couples they were very close to & went every where . The one husband died one hour after my brother did of cancer as well . One month later the second husband died of cancer Then 1 year on the same day my brother died & the other man the 3rd man died. Then his wife ended up with cancer she barely pulled thruI talked to her for 2 hours last night she is in California I am in Pennsyvania. Bobby has been gone 4 years she said it is like yesterday Nothing will ever be the same & I do not believe & hate it when someone says time heals. Time has nothing to do with it.
    Dying is apart of life & it is so hard to deal with. I am so sorry for your sadness
    79 days ago
    Happy Birthday, Don. Bobbi, you are so fortunate to have such thoughtful friends. Their caring attention must lighten your grief just a little. You are loved. emoticon
    80 days ago
  • PICKIE98
    Stay safe.. keep taking those health cocktails!
    80 days ago
    82 days ago
  • PICKIE98
    No words, just hugs.
    82 days ago
    Happy Birthday to your DH. I'm glad you found the strength to celebrate him. emoticon emoticon
    82 days ago
    Beautiful pic; I think Don must be proud of you for getting support and doing the best you can. I don't know what people do without any support network.

    This year of firsts is tough. With my mom's passing, I keep thinking, "this time last year we....." As you say, it is surreal. I'm grateful that her passing unexpectedly brought my family closer together when it often goes the other way. That's a real blessing, and as I told my sister, Mom would be happy with us. We were very close, and there are moments of overwhelm when I miss her so badly.

    82 days ago
    Feeling sad for you and knowing life will be hard at times.
    Thinking of you and imagining myself in that position.
    The new health threat is here in South Dakota as DD's
    school has been shut down as several students have
    been exposed to the coronavirus. This is not a small campus.
    The whole complex will be scrubbed. Self isolation is a
    new concept but needs to be done.
    82 days ago
    glad you have such great friends to lean on emoticon
    83 days ago
    Sending lots and lots of love. I haven't been on here much, but I'm picking up and dusting off the cobwebs...Big gentle hugs... Take each day as it comes and be gentle with yourself.
    83 days ago
    I love that picture of you two. That is the best one. Just keep remembering those special moments.
    83 days ago
  • LINDA!
    I can only imagine how sad you feel. I am sorry. Sending a prayer for you. emoticon
    83 days ago
    My heart pours out to you! I'm glad that your friends made time to spend with you so that you weren't alone. Hopefully, you will have happier days ahead with less sadness.

    HUGS emoticon , and PRAYERS!
    83 days ago
    One more milestone passed, Bobbie, each one passes will be easier we hope. My BIL passed last week, 3 years younger than my wife, lasted 8 months after diognoned with Lewy Body Demtia , really suffered, hard on family. What a great tribute your loving memories! The Old Farmer, they call, Skeeter!
    83 days ago
    I know it's hard, Bobbi. Big hug.
    83 days ago
    emoticon emoticon to you!
    83 days ago
    Happy Birthday in heaven Don .. I know that he never leaves your side Bobbi .. he is with you every step of the way .. encouraging and strengthening your every minute.
    I truly wish I could ease your pain .. grief is not something we get over .. its something we go through .. and we all go through it differently .. time that is passes is no measure of how strong the pangs of loss will be .. when we lose part of ourselves the pain is intense .. and can rise up and consume .. when we least expect .. it is at these times I do believe our loved ones rush to be with us .. to calm our sad hearts .. to try to lighten the path reminding us that they are truly Home .. it is us that is still on the journey ..
    sending you light and laughter in the face of the storms of grief ..
    The full moon on the 9th has lifted the Mercury retrograde energy .. feel the newness and peace surrounding you .. xoxox
    83 days ago
    Bobbi may you fell the arms of the Lord holding you as you go through these difficult moments. Your words of your DH are beautiful and you lived such a beautiful life and this makes it so hard to process his loss. You need to follow your heart and do whatever you are feeling at that moment. Know you are in my prayers and thoughts! Don is happy to see you light that candle on his day. Josh and Don are celebrating together and just watching over you! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon mm
    83 days ago
    I think grief surprises us all with its' intensity when we're caught in its' current. It's quite the process to go through for anyone. I'm so sorry for your loss. Keep on journaling. Your journal will become a witness to you that you're finding your way through even when you think you've lost the path and when all you feel is confusion. It will comfort you to see the work you've done. You have friends here too who care and feel for you and will stick by you through it all. emoticon emoticon
    83 days ago
    Sending you love and hugs.β€οΈπŸ’•πŸ™πŸ»πŸ™πŸ»
    83 days ago
    83 days ago
  • LYNCHD05
    I know Bobbi each one of these special days will be a challenge. Thankfully you have wonderful support which helps but spriest not tale away the feelings of loss.
    It is so very sad. Big hugs to you......
    83 days ago
    Very sad for you. My friend’s wife passed away one month ago... he also said he feels hollow. You are doing so well, sad but social. Maybe not every day but so what.
    83 days ago
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